~ SUPER ANGEL ~

2011-11-27T04:09:00.001-08:00

~ LIFE IS COLOURFUL ~

sharing is caring~~~

2011-11-19T03:48:00.000-08:00

~ LIFE IS COLOURFUL ~

Petua Imam Syafi'e....

Empat perkara menguatkan badan...
1. makan daging
2. memakai haruman
3. kerap mandi
4. berpakaian dari kapas

Empat perkara melemahkan badan...
1. banyak berkelamin (bersetubuh)
2. selalu cemas
3. banyak minum air ketika makan
4. banyak makan bahan yang masam

Empat perkara menajamkan mata...
1. duduk mengadap kiblat
2. bercelak sebelum tidur
3. memandang yang hijau
4. berpakaian bersih

Empat perkara merosakkan mata...
1. memandang najis
2. melihat orang dibunuh
3. melihat kemaluan
4. membelakangi kiblat

Empat perkara menajamkan fikiran...
1. tidak banyak berbual kosong
2. rajin bersugi (gosok gigi)
3. bercakap dengan orang soleh
4. bergaul dengan para ulama

4 CARA TIDUR...
1. TIDUR PARA NABI Tidur terlentang sambil berfikir tentang kejadian langit danbumi.
2. TIDUR PARA ULAMA' & AHLI IBADAH Miring ke sebelah kanan untuk memudahkan terjaga untuk solat malam.
3. TIDUR PARA RAJA YANG HALOBAMiring ke sebelah kiri untuk mencernakan makanan yang banyak dimakan.
4. TIDUR SYAITAN Menelungkup/tiarap seperti tidurnya ahli neraka.

Shopping ~!

2011-06-24T05:25:00.000-07:00

Annyeong ! How are you guys ? Damn busy till got no time to update my blog or post new story . Hehe . Sorry . But , I think you will definitely love this blog , http://sethcollections.blogspot.com/ . Try click then follow this blog ~ Love their blog

- HYM -

Just a Friend 38

2009-09-05T02:53:00.000-07:00

Chapter 39

Last Chappie

I froze and my heart beat rapidly. That voice. I would know that everywhere.
A tear fell from my eye and his grip loosened. I slowly turned around with my eyes closed, wondering if it all was just a dream but when I opened them he was there .
A gentle smile on his lips.

More tears came, accompanied by a soft smile.

His smile left his face and was replaced by a concerned look. “What is it? What’s wrong?” He cupped my face with his hands

I shook my head and sniffed, wiping away my tears in the process.
He heaved a sigh of relief, knowing I was just getting into one of my emotional moments. Then he pulled me into his arms and gave me a tight hug.

“Did you miss me?” He whispered into my ear, causing shivers down my spine.

It’s amazing how he still gives this reaction to me even after for so long.

“No, I didn’t miss you.” I answered

He pulled away from me “What?”

I smiled a bit “It would be a total lie if I said those words.” I continued

A smile returned to his face and he hugged me once more.
No words were needed to be exchanged for us to know that our love was still alive and burning.
Being apart from him made me realize how much he completed me and at that moment, I decided that I was never going to let him go again.

He was the prince I’ve been waiting for all my life. My knight in shining armor, my first and last love, my Donghae.

And now I’ve also realized that I was never Just A Friend.

~The End~

Just a Friend 37

2009-09-05T02:52:00.002-07:00

Chapter 38

Stalker?

3 years had passed. The SuJu boys kept their promise of never breaking apart and went to the military together while G.A.L was going strong than ever.
We had the tile of Korea’s #1 girl group but despite all the busy schedules I won’t deny that he still crosses my mind once in awhile.

“And no.1 goes to G.A.L!!”

The audience exploded in cheers as the girls and I gathered in the center.
Vian took her role as the leader and said the thank you message.
Jesselyn and Regine were fooling around with the confetti while I did some fanservice and shot hearts to my fans.

After the encore we went back to our dressing rooms. The manager stood up and handed me a bouquet of flowers.

“Ya oppa! Where’s mine?!” Regine demanded

“Yeah, mine too.” Jesselyn looked at the manager crossly

Vian looked around for their flowers.

“Don’t look at me like that.” The manager said “Those aren’t from me. A delivery guy just sent them.”

Regine and Jesselyn turned to me.

“What?” I asked them, innocently

“I can’t find my flowers!” Vian wailed

“Vian, didn’t you hear? Someone else gave it to Soon Ae not the manager.” Jesselyn rolled her eyes

“Oh.” Vian replied

It was then that I had noticed the small envelope that had fallen from the bouquet. I stooped down to pick it up.

“What’s that?” Regine nodded her heads towards the paper

I shrugged and opened it. Inside was a message: Congratulations for winning first 10 times in a row. I missed you.^^

“That’s it?” Vian stared at the envelope “No name? No signature? Or even just a tiny hint of who this person is?”

“No.” I frowned

----
The next morning when I entered the kitchen, another bouquet of roses were waiting for me.
Just like the last one I received the night before, it was anonymous.
But we had no time to think about the flowers as we had to rush to our next schedule.

----
After everything, we went back to SM building to rehearse our new choreography that we will be performing tomorrow.
After a few hours of practicing, we earned a break.
I went to the vending machine and got some chocolate since I was craving for sweets,
I snickered because Vian didn’t know I had actually used her money.
Then out of habit, I went to the room next to it.
My hands automatically reached up to switch on the lights but all of a sudden I felt strong arms around my waist and a hand covering my mouth.
And at the same time I heard the door slam.

"I missed you." A voice said

====

Just a Friend 36

2009-09-05T02:52:00.001-07:00

Chapter 36

The End (?)

I tapped my phone on my palm, deciding whether I should call Donghae or not.

“Would you stop pacing around?!” Jesselyn said, irritation in her voice

“You’re giving me a headache.” Vian whined

“Just call him if you want to!” Regine urged

I frowned at them “That’s easy for you to say.”

I plopped at the couch.

“Then go to him.” Vian said

“What? How am I supposed to know where he is?” I looked at her

“Duh. Check his schedule on their website.” Regine rolled her eyes, making me feel so stupid.

The girls and I rushed to the computer and went to Super Junior’s website. The girls were dismayed as we saw that the places for Super Junior’s schedule were either too far away or we never even knew existed.

“I guess we’ll have to wait later at dawn!” I perked up, glad that there was a delay

Time passed faster than I thought so and soon it was dawn and Super Junior had arrived for practice. I tried to avoid the fact and made it seem like I really wanted to practice but the other members quickly saw through me and somehow, they managed to push me out of the practice room.

After realizing that they weren’t going to let me in anytime soon, I decided to look for Donghae. I went to where Super Junior were practicing and luckily, they were on a break.

“Annyeong-hasaeyo.” I greeted, bowing down

“Annyeong.” They greeted back

“Uh..is Donghae oppa here?” I asked

The members exchanged glances.

“Isn’t he with you?” Leeteuk asked

“No.” I frowned

When we found out, Donghae was missing, we started to go and search for him. It took awhile for me to realize as to where he might be. When I did, I didn’t waste any time, to tell the others. I just told them I’m going to go and left.

“Oppa, let’s go to ??? bridge.”

The manager started the car and we left.

“Oppa, quickly.”

The car stopped a few meters before the bridge because of traffic. 3 minutes passed and we still weren’t moving.

“Oppa, I’m just going to walk.”

“But—“

I stepped off the car and ran towards the bridge. My heart fluttered nervously. What if someone had happened to him? Donghae, please be safe. I finally saw a figure and I ran towards him.

“Oppa?”

As if in slow motion, I watched the figure turn around and when I could finally really see him, I smiled. I was right. I was about to go and hug him when he held up his hand, stopping me.

“I’ve been thinking about the things you said.” Donghae looked at the ocean with sorrowful eyes “And I think you’re right, it’s best if we just stay friends but… I’m still trying to move on and I might regret this but Soon Ae-sshi, we should avoid each other for awhile.”

I felt my heart rip apart and scatter into pieces. Donghae turned to me and smiled.

“I wish you the best.” Donghae gave me a soft peck on the forehead before turning and leaving.

==
I came home, still in a daze. The members gathered around me, asking a bunch of questions.

“He said we shouldn’t see each other anymore.” I choked

The members quieted down.

“Well… didn’t you tell him that you want him back?” Vian asked

I shook my head “I was too shocked to even say a word.”

“Then you should just go and talk to him again.” Regine said

“Maybe he’s right.” I said “Maybe we should just focus on our careers right now.”

“Are you sure?” Jesselyn frowned

I nodded “Positive.”

And so it happened. Donghae and I didn’t talk to each other or contact each other. Avoiding wasn’t a problem because we were always busy but in the rare times that we saw each other, we would smile and just pass.

I know that I still love him. That he still owns my heart. People around us were shocked about our decision. Not really understanding why we chose to end the relationship but I believe that if we were really meant for each other then we will be together in the end. For now, I’ll just savor the freedom and will let fate decide.

Just a Friend 35

2009-09-05T02:51:00.000-07:00

Chapter 35

“Why did you come here?” I almost flinched after realizing how cold I sounded

Taeyeon looked at me, with tears in her eyes. “I’m sorry.”

“Sorry? For what?”

“About you and Donghae.” Taeyeon looked down again, playing with her fingers

A sigh escaped my lips “You love him too right?”

Taeyeon slowly nodded her head.

“He’s yours then.” I added

Taeyeon’s head snapped up and revealed her eyes that were wide open. “W-what?”

I looked away “One of us is bound to give up.”

“And you’re saying that you are?” Taeyeon’s voice raised a little

“I’m your junior.” I replied, even to me the reason sounded stupid

“Ya, don’t do that!” Taeyeon heatedly said

I turned to look at her “Why shouldn’t I?”

“Because…because he loves you.” Taeyeon said; I scoffed

“Love? Love, you say? If it’s love, then why am I getting hurt?”

“Because that’s just how love is.” Taeyeon’s voice softened “When you love, you’re bound to get hurt, it’s unavoidable.”

“Yes it is.” I stubbornly replied “The mind overpowers everything, even the heart.”

“Are you saying that you’re giving up on him?” Taeyeon gasped

“If it will put a stop to all this mess then I will.” I answered

Taeyeon continued to stare at me, an expression of bewilderment on her face, but it later turned to anger.

“If you can’t fight for him then you never deserved to love him.” Taeyeon picked up her bag and left the room.

I opened my eyes and looked at the ceiling. I tried to fall asleep but failed to do so. Taeyeon’s words rang through my head. Deep down, I knew she was right. I have to settle things once and for all. I’ve avoided things enough.

I was in a daze and my heart was beating nervously. I took a few deep breaths. I lifted my hands, about to knock, when the door opened. Kibum gave me a surprised look then gradually, the corners of his mouth started to lift. I smiled back at him and I entered.

Kibum was happily smiling at me which was making me self-conscious.

“What?” I asked, failing to hide my annoyance

Kibum didn’t say anything and pulled me into a hug.

“Gamsahamnida.” Kibum said, almost in a whisper

I gently pushed Kibum away and furrowed my brows “For what?”

“Don’t play around. Aren’t you here because you chose me?” Kibum said, still smiling

My confusion was replaced by guilt and sadness.

“Kibum..” I started

At that moment, Kibum must have felt that something was wrong and his smile faded. As I looked into his eyes, I saw pain and sadness.

“That’s right.” I said with a forced smile “I came because I chose you.”

Kibum’s smile returned and pulled me in again for another hug.

Donghae, mianhae~

But I can’t seem to bear seeing Kibum hurt, especially when he’s been so good to me.

A few days passed and I continued to spent time with Kibum. I wasn’t happy- especially when I knew this was all a lie. Sometimes, I wondered if Kibum knew since he had this ability to know what I was really feeling or if he just really got fooled. Either way, I really feel guilty about this.

Then one time, I felt Kibum staring at me. I met his eyes and faintly smiled then slowly, he started to lean towards me. When I realized what he was planning to do, I turned my head and looked away. Kibum returned to his original position and started to talk, the smile on his face though seemed forced.

A few more days passed and I was feeling worse.

“Do you love me?” Kibum asked out of the blue

I avoided his eyes and smiled “What kind of question is that?”

I looked at Kibum through the corner of my eye and saw that he was tearing up. I looked away. All of a sudden, I felt Kibum’s arms around me.

“Why are you doing this? You shouldn’t force yourself to love me.”

Tears started to form in my own eyes. I stepped away from him and looked at him in the eyes.

“Ya, why are you like this? You should be angry at me! Why aren’t you getting angry?!” I shook him as tears ran down my face

I was feeling frustrated at his actions. Why is he still thinking about me?

“Go ahead! Curse me if you want, slap me if that’s what you want to do! Please, don’t act like I’m the only one getting hurt here.” My knees started to feel weak and eventually gave up.

I continued crying in my knees. Kibum slowly dropped to his own knees and pulled me into a hug.

“I am hurt but the thing that hurts me the most is seeing you, doing this to yourself, and forcing yourself to love me when you don’t and not because you can’t reciprocate my feelings.” Kibum whispered

And I felt my heart tear a bit from guilt.

After I’ve finally calmed down, I chose to spoke.

“How’d you know?” I asked, my voice hoarse from all the crying

I felt Kibum smile a bit “The necklace.”

I broke away from Kibum’s hug and stared at him “What?”

“You never wore the necklace I gave you.” Kibum stated “You never even realized when you lost it.”

Kibum earned another ‘what’ from me. Slowly, he fished something out of his pocket. It was the necklace he gave me. I looked down at the floor, feeling ashamed.

“Give me Donghae’s necklace.” Kibum held his palm out

“Why?” I asked, getting protective

“Just hand it over.” Kibum commanded

I put my hand on my pocket and pulled out the necklace Donghae gave me.

“Turn around.”

I sighed and turned around. Then I felt something around my hair and neck.

“There.” Kibum declared

My hand flew to my neck and I felt Donghae’s necklace. I turned around to face Kibum.

“Kibum…”

Kibum smiled “Go to him.”

I can’t help flashing a bright smile to Kibum. I gave him a hug and a peck on the cheek “Thank you so much.”

I walked around SM building and bumped into Taeyeon.

“Unnie.” I stared at Taeyeon

Taeyeon bowed down and apologized to how she acted earlier.

“That’s nothing unnie.” I assured her

Taeyeon smiled happily and took my hands in hers.

“Soon Ae, listen to me and listen well, you need to go and find Donghae. No one can deny the fact that you still have feelings for each other.” Taeyeon said

“He does?”

Taeyeon nodded “With all his heart, Soon Ae.”

I smiled

“And another thing, he never cheated on you. That kiss, I forced myself to him and that only lasted for a second anyway.”

“So it was all just a…” I paused
“A huge and disastrous misunderstanding. Soon Ae, mianhae~ I didn’t know you guys were together.” Taeyeon pouted

I nodded understandingly “Loves make a person do crazy things.”

“It does. You need to talk to him.”

“I know.” I sighed “And I’m planning to do it, very soon.”

Just a Friend 34

2009-09-05T02:50:00.000-07:00

Chapter 34

Decision

“So?” Regine asked out of nowhere

“So what?” I asked

“Have you chosen yet?”

The other members stopped eating and looked at me.

I sighed “I wished.”

“It’s confirmed that you had and possibly still have feelings for Donghae but Kibum, could it be possible that you just feel sorry for him?” Jesselyn said

Another sigh escaped my lips as I looked at the necklace Kibum gave me.

==
For my next schedule, I was going to be on Family Outing. Would it be too much of a coincidence if I said Donghae was the other guest? When he first stepped down the car, my smile was stripped off from my face but I whipped on another one before the camera could see.Obviously, we didn’t talk much to each other and rarely had eye contact but then the time for cooking dinner came and somehow we ended up picking vegetables together.

On our way, we didn’t talk. To the staff, it seemed like we were just awkward but they didn’t know we were actually feeling pain inside. I glanced at him but he was looking straight ahead. When we had arrived at the vegetable plantation (?), we looked around. We really didn’t have any idea what to pick.

I cleared my throat “Oppa, what are we supposed to pick?”

Donghae looked at me, surprised that I spoke to him, but he quickly looked away and directed his stare at the staff “What were we supposed to pick?”

“Guess it yourself.” The PD replied

Donghae and I stared at the PD dumbfounded before bursting into smiles but once we looked at each other we turned serious again. We started to walk around the field. After 10 minutes, Donghae broke the silence.

“Oh peppers.” He pointed to the far right

We hurriedly went and started to pick the peppers. For a second, his hand accidentally brushed mine and I got a shock from the unexpected touch. I looked at him but he was focused on picking the peppers. I moved away.We finished picking the vegetables and came back.

“Finally, you two have arrived.” Hyori unnie said “Are you sure you guys were just picking vegetables? What took you so long?”

“Maybe they went on a date.” Jaesuk said, hoping to make it funny but instead we just stared at him.

“What are you talking about? Ah..seriously.” Hyori shook her head as she started to prepare the vegetables

It took some time to prepare dinner and to finish eating. We had a game after.

“Now our game for tonight is the ‘I love you’ game. That’s right it has returned.” Jaesuk announced “For the guests, I will explain the rules. This game is where a person says ‘I love you’ to the person beside him and he/she could accept or reject it. If he/she accepts, he/she will say ‘I love you’ to the person on his other side and if he rejects, he would say the words ‘What the hell..”

“Ah oppa, they’re idols, they can’t say those kind of things.” Hyori interrupted

“Right. Jaesuk-ah, what were you thinking?” Jongshin lectured as the rest laughed

“Ok. I understand. Then if the person chooses to reject, he could just say whatever he wants. The point here is that you shouldn’t laugh or get embarrassed. The punishment for today is that you get a kiss on the cheek from the two persons beside you. Ok, let’s start.”

“Should I accept or reject it? I love you game.”

Coincidentally, the person on my right was Donghae and on my left was Daesung. The others teased us and said that there were going to be scandals going on. Finally it was Donghae’s turn. He turned to meet my eyes and I felt myself melting from his intense gaze. It’s been awhile since I’ve looked at those dark brown eyes.

“Soon Ae-sshi…” Donghae said in almost a whisper

I wanted to look away and avoid his gaze but it was against the rules if he did so. It felt as if hours had passed before Donghae spoke.

“Saranghae.”

I took a deep breath, not knowing what to do. Anyone who knows about our secret knew this was a big deal for us. I blinked my eyes rapidly, not quite believing that this was happening. I couldn’t reply and just stared at him. My voice seemed to disappear and since I wasn’t saying anything, the game was restarted.

Donghae didn’t prolong his gaze and quickly looked away.Then the rankings came. As expected, Donghae won first place. The 1st place in the girls was going to get a hug from Donghae and I got it.I was disappointed. It was short and cold.

It was time to sleep. For those who don’t know the 1st placers sleep next to each other though separated by space. Everyone fell asleep quickly except for me. I turned to my side and looked at Donghae, remembering the last time I slept next to him and I smiled. I wanted to touch his face but I couldn’t and not only because there were cameras but I was afraid to do so. I turned my back on him and finally fell asleep.

The next day was the same. Donghae and I didn’t talk and avoided each other. Luckily, no one seemed to notice. Time passed quicker then I thought. When we arrived at the airport at Korea, I said goodbye to everyone and gave just a small nod at Donghae I came home full of regrets. I learned something from the experience though and it was that I still had feelings for Donghae. I should be happy now that I have a decision but why didn’t I? Just the thought of Kibum’s pained face hurt me and then another thing: Taeyeon.

==
I walked into the dorm, ready to collapse on my bed and get sleep but I stopped when I saw Taeyeon sitting on the couch. She gave me a faint smile and I bowed. I exchanged glances with the other members. We were all surprised that Taeyeon was here but we also had a hint why she was.

Just a Friend 33

2009-09-05T02:47:00.000-07:00

Chapter 33

I started to spend more and more time with Kibum. We always had fun, there was never a dull movement but sometimes when everything’s quiet and I stare at Kibum. I find myself asking if I already like him or if my heart is still with Donghae and I haven’t had an answer once.

“Close your eyes.” Kibum smiled mischievously

“Why?”

“Just do it.” Kibum urged

“Fine.” I closed my eyes

I felt something in my neck and when I looked down I saw that it was a necklace. It was pretty and silver. The pendant was a small bow with crystals in it.

“What’s this?” I asked as I continued gazing at the necklace

“It’s from my mom who got it from her mom.” Kibum explained

The color of my face started to fade “Kibum…”

“Don’t say anything.” Kibum interrupted “I’m not asking you to be my girlfriend, I know you’re not ready yet, but if you accept that necklace then it means I have a chance to be in your heart.”

I started to feel worse.

“Stop joking around.” I said, hoping he really was

“I’m serious.”

Tears started to form in my eyes. “Actually..” I fished something out of my pocket and showed it to Kibum, it was the necklace from Donghae

Kibum’s face was expressionless. It was hard to tell what he was feeling. It hurts more to see him like this.

“I understand but keep the necklace. Think about it first. If you still don’t choose me, return it.” Kibum walked away

I showed the necklace to my members as they gazed and admired it. They were all happy that Kibum had finally confessed to me and were giggling happily but when they noticed my expression, they looked at each other.

“Is something wrong?” Vian asked, carefully
I sighed and looked at the necklace “What should I do?”

“Do whatever your heart tells you.” Jesselyn said

“How can I when my heart doesn’t even know who it wants?”

Regine gave me a big hug “There’s still a lot of time. Take things slowly and don’t think too much about it.”

“You and Donghae…you haven’t reconciled yet?” Jessica asked

“No.” I squeaked

“He says you’ve been avoiding him, I thought you were going to talk to him.” Jessica reminded

“I was.” I breathed

“What happened?”

“Taeyeon unnie.”

Jessica swiftly turned to look at me “Taeyeon?”

I nodded “They’re together, aren’t they?”

“I can’t believe this.” Jessica muttered

Jessica’s face reddened with anger and she marched off.

“Unnie!” I called out, following her

Jessica shoved open the door to their practice room “Ya! Kim Taeyeon!”

Jessica walked to Taeyeon and pulled her up in a harsh manner “Why are you doing now?!”

“Wh-what are you talking about?” Fear was evident in Taeyeon’s face as she stared at Jessica’s eyes filled with fury

The other members tried to break them apart but Jessica ignored them.

“What’s this about you and Donghae?!” Jessica glared

“What are you talking about?” Taeyeon stood firmly

“Did you know? When I found out you liked Donghae, I broke up with him because I figured no guy was worth our friendship.Do you know how it hurts to give up the one you love for the sake of others?” Jessica’s eyes started to fill with tears

Taeyeon scoffed “What? Do you think you’re only the one suffering here? I also gave him up!”

“Gave him up? If you gave him up then why is he and ____ not together now?”

“Th-I made a mistake.” Taeyeon admitted

Jessica sniffed, holding back her tears “Kim Taeyeon, forget we were ever friends.”

“Jessica, what are you talking about?” Tiffany interrupted

“Stay out of this.” Jessica warned

Jessica gave one last glare at Taeyeon before walking away, pulling me with her.

==
Jessica’s back was turned away from me but I could hear her whimpering, she was crying. I felt so bad. Like I was the one who caused this problem. If they don’t make up soon, this could lead to the disbanding of Girls’ Generation, I can’t stand that.

“Unnie.” I handed Jessica my handkerchief

She took it and dabbed her tears. “Thanks.”

“Unnie, I’m thankful to you for defending me but you didn’t have to do that.”

“I didn’t do that for you. I did it for everyone whose concerned in this matter.” Jessica said abruptly

No more words were said after that.

Just a Friend 32

2009-09-05T02:42:00.000-07:00

Chapter 32

[3rd person POV]

“No wonder she looked so shock when she opened the door and saw us together.” Taeyeon said, tracing lines on the ground with her finger “I probably caused so much problems in your relationship, I’m sorry.”

“It’s alright.” Donghae ruffled Taeyeon’s hair “What’s done is done.”

“You need to talk to her.”

Donghae sighed “I know, but the problem is she’s been avoiding me.”

“You should catch her by surprise and also you should do it in a romantic way.” Taeyeon advised

“How can saying sorry be romantic?”

“You should bring her flowers or maybe do it like the F4 and have some fireworks.” Taeyeon smiled

Donghae smiled “Ya, I’m not F4.”

“Just do what I say. I’m a girl too.”

“Arasso, arasso.”

I stared at Kibum. Could it be that my members were right? That he has feelings for me?

‘You should ask him on a date.’

Should I? What if my members were wrong? Aish, why did they have to tell me all these things? I was happy not knowing.

“Why are you staring at me instead of eating your food?” Kibum asked “Ya, don’t tell me you’ve fallen in love with me.”

I made a face and started to eat my food. Nah, they can’t be right. Kibum doesn’t like me. I’m more like a dongsaeng to him.

“So have you talked to him yet?”

I looked at Kibum, the chopsticks still in my mouth “Hm?”

“Have you talked to Donghae yet?”

I swallowed my food and took the chopsticks out from my mouth “Not yet.”

“When are you planning to do it?”

“If possible, never.” I declared

“Ya—“

“I know, I know.” I interrupted “Look, I’ll do it when I’m ready to, ok?”

“Fine.” Kibum sighed

I wasn’t even able to sleep that night because I kept thinking of Kibum. Does he really like me in a way that my members said?

==
I’ve thought about it all night and I’ve decided to ask Kibum on a date. This really felt nerve-wracking, I’ve never really asked someone out before. Maybe I was just thought I was in love with Donghae but in my heart Kibum is there. At least that’s what my members say.
I met up with Kibum. It’s the first time I’ve realized how handsome he was and how nice is smile is.

“Are you free later?” I blurted out

“Why?”

Why did I just do that? I shouldn’t have done that.

“Are you…asking me out on a date?” Kibum smirked

“What? No! Just a friend-friend thing.” I said, a little too excitedly

Kibum nodded his head but obviously not believing “Ok. Sure, I’m free later. What did you have in mind?”

“I don’t know. I thought we should just do whatever comes in mind.”

Kibum rolled his eyes “Ya, what kind of girl are you? You ask people out on dates but you don’t even plan it.”

“Who said I was asking you out?! I said it was a friend-friend thing.”

Kibum scoffed “Why don’t you just admit it?”

“I have nothing to admit.” I muttered

“Ah~ you’re so annoying.” Kibum said

“If you don’t want to hang out with me then don’t.” I said stubbornly and marched out the door

“Ya, wait for me!” Kibum called out, running after me

==
Kibum and I had this awkward atmosphere. This was the first time we’re actually together. I mean usually we just argue or he’s there to comfort me but we’ve never really talked.

“So..how’s the food?” Kibum asked

“It’s ok, how’s yours?”

“It’s fine.”

“……”

I cleared my throat and took a sip from my water while Kibum continued eating.For some reason, I suddenly choked on my water and started to cough. Yeah I know, pathetic. Who chokes on water without any reason?! Nevertheless, Kibum was a complete gentleman and didn’t tease me about it like he usually did. That broke the ice though and we started to be comfortable again.

==
“So how was the date?” My members asked as soon as I stepped into the dorm

“I told you guys it wasn’t a date.” I said

The girls giggled.

“Fine, then how was the not-date?” Jesselyn asked

“It was awkward at first but eventually it was, actually, fun.”

“And…?” Regine had a twinkle in her eye

“Nothing.” I shrugged

“What? No kiss?” Vian raised her eyebrows

“No.”

My members had this expression like “That’s it? Boring.” and returned to their rooms.

==
[Donghae POV]

I went around the flower shop. Following Taeyeon’s advice, I was going to say sorry with flowers. I woke up extra early, the members were even asleep, to make sure that I’ll have enough time and to avoid lines. The teenage girl who was attending to the shop was also following me around and kept on suggesting this and that. She was very helpful and it didn’t take long for me to find the perfect bouquet of flowers.

After that was done, I headed to SM ent. I didn’t have much time since I still had a schedule later so I had to hurry. At first I was riding a taxi but a sudden traffic came so I had no choice but to run.
The first thing I did when I arrived at SM building was to take a shower. It’s a good thing I always carry extra clothes with me.
When I was sure that I looked good, I hurried off to find Soon Ae. I knew she didn’t have any schedule today, I asked her manager earlier.

I headed towards the room. The members told me that she spends most of her time there. It still remains as a special place to her. I smiled as I remembered when we were locked up there. She was so shy.

I quietly opened the door and saw her with Kibum. They were fooling around and laughing. They looked like a couple. I quietly closed the door and looked at the flowers in my hand. There was nothing I could do with them now. I left them at the door and walked away as both my heart and spirit sank.

==
That night, after the members had a break, I went into another empty room. I haven’t been feeling well since I saw Soon Ae and Kibum. It’s really hard to keep yourself from crying. When I was finally alone, I let loose and started to cry.
I punched the wall in anger and frustration.

“Oppa?”

I turned around and saw Jessica.

“Oppa, are you alright?”

I didn’t say anything and started for Jessica. When I had reached her, I hugged her tightly and poured out my tears more. Jessica hugged me back as she kept on repeating the words: It’s alright.

-----------------------

Just a Friend 31

2009-09-05T02:37:00.000-07:00

Chapter 31

Move on?

I paced outside SM building. Aish, why did I let Kibum talk me into this? Or more precise, provoke me? I really hate that over-confident guy right now.

“Uh..unnie, what are you doing?” One of the fans asked

I was too busy pacing around that I didn’t realize that the fans were already staring at me. I gave them an embarrassed smile and a bow before going inside. I took my time walking up the stairs as I continued on insulting Kibum in my mind.

I stopped and turned around. Maybe I shouldn’t do this. I should just go home.

‘It’s because you never do anything unless you’re told to. You’re like an obedient dog that doesn’t have a mind of its own, always following what others are telling you. It’s about time you stood up to yourself.’

Kibum’s words came to mind. No, I should do this. Ok, Soon Ae. Breathe in and out, In and out. You can do this. Soon Ae fighting! I turned back around and continued walking up the stairs. I bumped into someone and apologized.

“It’s ok.” A cheerful voice, responded

I looked up and I saw a smiling Jessica “Have you watched the tape?”

“Uh-yes unnie.”

“What did you think about it?”

“Very…uhm…. “ I racked my brain, trying to find the right words to say

“Are you going to talk to him?”

“Eh?”

“Go now. I think he’s alone at the practice room.” Jessica made her way behind me and pushed me

“Arasso. Thanks.”

“Good luck.” Jessica waved

I started my way up the stairs once again.

“Soon Ae!”

I looked back and saw Regine running after me. She panted heavily when she had reached me. “We’ve…been…looking all over for you.”
“Why?”

Regine sat down, trying to catch her breath “We had a….sudden schedule.”

“Oh.”

When Regine returned to her normal breathing, we descended the stairs. Somehow, I felt like someone was watching me, but when I glanced back there was no one there. I’m probably just being paranoid. I had the whole day to put up the confrontation but never a second did I forget about it.

We returned at SM building around a little past midnight. After hours of practicing, we finally earned a break. I told my members where I was going and left. I was about to enter the room but stopped when I heard two voices. I might be wrong but it seems to be Donghae and Taeyeon.

It seems it’s no use to try to speak to him. How could he move on so easily? I turned away and left with sad tears in my eyes.

==
[Donghae POV]

I watched Taeyeon as she tried to appear bright and cheerful but I knew, she was deeply worried inside. Taeyeon is smart. I know she knows what’s coming.

“Taeyeon-sshi..” I started

Taeyeon’s smile vanished for a second but it returned quickly “What is it oppa?”

“I’m sorry.”

“About what?”

“Taeyeon-sshi. You’re pretty, talented and very loveable but—“

“Don’t say anything.” Taeyeon pleaded with tears in her eyes, she hugged me tightly “Don’t tell me that until now you can’t accept my heart.”

I gently pried Taeyeon’s fingers off me and stepped away from her. I put my hands on her shoulders and looked in her eyes. “I’m really sorry.”

Taeyeon threw my arms off her and glared at me “Why?! When you fell in love with Jessica, I let you be with her. You two were always happy while I was just watching from the sidelines. I even helped you with her! And now that you’re not together, you still can’t accept me?! Why?! Tell me why!”

“I’m sorry.” I couldn’t bear watching Taeyeon in pain anymore and I started for the door

“WHY CAN’T YOU LOVE ME?!” Taeyeon screamed and I stopped

“Everything. I did everything for you even when it caused me so much pain. Why? Has someone replaced Jessica in your heart?”

I turned around, avoiding her eyes and nodded my head.

More tears came out from Taeyeon’s eyes but she had calmed down “Who is she?”

I lifted my head and looked at her “Soon Ae-sshi.”

Taeyeon scoffed “Soon Ae-sshi? I can’t believe it. All these time, it was her?”

“Taeyeon-ah, you’ve been looking at me for too long, it’s about time you paid attention to someone who really loved you.”

Taeyeon stared at me “What are you talking about?”

“I’m talking about Kangin hyung.” I smiled “You should ask him for a date sometime.”

Taeyeon wiped away her tears and returned her poise “Could I ask a favor from you then? Could you hug me?”

I gave Taeyeon a soft smiled and proceeded to envelope my arms around her. Taeyeon cried harder, even when she was obviously trying to stop her tears.

I went back to the practice room and slumped in a corner. The members gathered around me.

“What happened now?” Vian asked

I sniffed as I tried to held back my tears “I don’t think there’s any chance of Donghae and I getting back together.”

“Because of Taeyeon?” Regine guessed

I nodded my head.

“Aish, let’s go and beat her up!” Jesselyn gritted her teeth and cracked her knuckles

“Ya! What are you thinking about? She’s our sunbae!” Vian reminded
“I don’t care if she’s a sunbae or not! How dare she do this to our maknae!” Jesselyn started for the door but was held back by Vian and Regine

“There’s nothing we can do.” I spoke and the members turned to me “If Donghae will be happy with Taeyeon then I’ll just have to accept it.”

The members sat around me once again.

“Then you should try to move on too.” Vian suggested

“How?” I looked at her

“Kibum oppa.” Regine had a cheeky smile on her face

“Kibum? What does Kibum have to do with this?” I looked at them with confusion

Jesselyn rolled her eyes “To whom do you always run to when you have problems?”

“Kibum.” I answered

“Who always goes out of his way to be with you?” Regine said

“Kibum.”

“Who is the person that-besides from G.A.L- you trust the most?” Vian’s eyebrows wiggled

“Kibum.”

“And who is the person that’s secretly loving you?” They chorused this time

I didn’t say anything for a moment and when I finally understood what they were trying to say, I looked at me unbelievingly “You’re not saying that…Kibum….that….he might be fall in love with me?!”

“That’s exactly what we’re trying to say.” They chorused

Just a Friend 30

2009-09-05T02:30:00.000-07:00

Chapter 30

Kibum landed on the floor and I ran towards him “Are you alright?” I asked, I looked up at Donghae “What’s your problem?!”

Donghae scoffed “You’re asking me what’s my problem? Do you know how it feels like to see my girl in the arms of another man?”

I slowly stood up and looked him in the eye “And do you know how it hurts to see the man you love kissing another girl?”

Donghae’s expression softened as he remembered his fault. He opened his mouth to speak but I didn’t allow him too.

“Because of you, I have suffered and endured so many pain, you haven’t even felt one half of what I’ve felt. I thought I knew you but it seems the Donghae that I loved and cared for with all my heart is gone. Now please, leave. I don’t want to see you anymore.”

Donghae’s eyes filled with tears but he didn’t do anything and just followed what I said, he left the room. Tears flowed down my face. I wiped them away and rushed to Kibum.

“Are you alright?” I asked him

Kibum smiled, somehow it seemed forced “I’m fine.”

For the next few days, I spent most of my time with my members. I’ve realized that ever since Donghae stepped into my life, I’ve been almost ignoring them. Sure, we were together during shows and performances but after that, I disappeared to my own world. What happened to our pre-debut days when I can’t even seem to live without them? When the mere thought of the possibility that we might not be together forever almost made me cry? As of now, I’ll try my best to forget about Donghae and the pain.

It seemed like someone up there also wanted to see me happy because the girls and I were going to be off to another country for a week to promote our songs. All the girls were happy to be able to travel to another country but I was ecstatic. The best part was that a camera would be following us so I had no time, whatsoever, to think about Donghae.During that week, I regained my closeness to the girls.

A week passed and we were going home.

“Do we really have to leave?” I whined to the PD “Nooo!!” I shook the camera

Not only did I become closer to the girls but I also got attached to the staff.
Regine came up from behind and pouted to the camera. We started to fake cry but ended up laughing out loud. A few hours before going home, the girls had solo interviews.

“First of all, I’m really thankful for this opportunity. I never thought that I could go to a beautiful place like this and get to meet such wonderful people. Also, I think my friendship with the other members have really strengthened. Even though we’re still new to the industry, I’m very happy that a lot of people are paying attention to us. I hope everyone can love and support G.A.L and please watch over us. Saranghaeyo.”

When we were finally aboard the plane, we felt so sleepy and tired that we ended up sleeping.

==
We finally arrived back at Seoul and as I stepped down the plane, all the forgotten pain and sadness came back. I took a deep breath as the gentle wind touched my face.

“Soon Ae, are you alright?” Vian asked

I smiled “Better than ever.”

And I wasn’t lying this time. Sure, I remembered all my problems but I wasn’t as melancholic when I left. The girls and I had just entered the van when my cellphone rang. It was Jessica. She said she wanted to talk.

==
I entered the café with a smile on my face, Jessica looked up and smiled back. We gave each other a brief hug before sitting down.

“Do you want anything?” Jessica asked

I shook my head “Actually unnie, I only have 30 minutes.”

Jessica nodded in an understanding way “I wanted to give you something.Here.” Jessica took out a tape from her bag and gave it to me

“What is this unnie?” I looked at the tape

“Just watch it. I won’t waste any of your time now. I’ve done what I had to do.” Jessica stood up and gave me a goodbye hug.

I put the tape on my bag and left after buying some snacks. I went back into the van and my members gathered around me, not because they were curious as to why Jessica wanted to meet me, but because they wanted to have some of my snacks but when we started to eat, they started to interrogate me.

“She just gave me a tape. Probably a movie.” I shrugged, biting into a cookie

Our day was full of interviews, filming and photo shoots that the tape was forgotten. We had arrived home around 2am. The usual scene of us, flopping on the different parts of the living room, happened. Then we started to debate on who should use the bathroom first. We started to play rock paper scissors to see who wins and in the end I lost. As the other members went back to the rooms, I flopped on the couch and hit something hard.

“Ah!” I rubbed my stomach where the hard object had it and I rolled off the couch. I had laid on my bag but why is it so hard? I took my bag and opened it. Oh right, the tape. I took it out and popped it into the DVD. I looked around my bag more when I suddenly heard a soft voice saying: neorago

I looked up and saw it was Super Junior, performing their latest song, It’s you but it was solely focused on Donghae. I felt a pang of annoyance at Jessica. I took the remote and was about to turn off the tv when I noticed something. Donghae wasn’t like himself. His dancing was more powerful and his gaze was so intense that it didn't seem just to be an energetic performance anymore. Even when I was just watching, I could feel the tension and aggressiveness. Almost like, he was pouring out all his emotions in this one song.

Tears formed in my eyes and the familiar feeling of confusion came back. Just when I thought I had gotten over him, this happened. I abruptly turned off the television and leaned back, closing my eyes. In a matter of minutes, I had fallen asleep.I woke up. My body hurt from sleeping on the floor and I walked tiredly towards the dining room.

“Oh, you’re awake?” A familiar, semi-deep voice said

I looked up and saw Kibum eating breakfast with the other members. A smile came to my face. What was he doing here early in the morning? After finishing the morning routine, Kibum and I were alone.

I breathed in deeply “Spring is coming soon.”

“Pretty soon, this park would be filled with couples.” Kibum said

“Yeah, couples.” I sighed

Kibum and I looked around. After moments of silence, I finally spoke

“What did you want to tell me?”

Kibum blinked “What?”

I smiled “If there’s something I’ve found out about Super Junior’s Kibum, it’s that he always appears for a reason, never just because he feels like it.” I gave him a knowing look

Kibum smiled “Ya, you think you’ve got me all figured out, do you?”

“I didn’t say that.” I answered
Kibum quickly turned serious “Do you remember what I told you about ghosts?”

I nodded, wondering where this was going to.

“This is the perfect example for that.” Kibum finished

“What are you trying to say?” I asked, impatiently

“Talk to Donghae.” Kibum stated

I looked at Kibum “What?”

“You can’t run away from him forever. You two need to talk, whether you like it or not.”

“But I’m not ready yet.” I muttered

“And when will you be?” Kibum’s voice raised a little “When it’s too late and you end up regretting it? Or are you planning to leave like you did last time?!”

I glared at Kibum “Who are you to tell me what and what not to do?!”

“It’s because you never do anything unless you’re told to. You’re like an obedient dog that doesn’t have a mind of its own, always following what others are telling you. It’s about time you stood up to yourself.”

“What are you talking about? I always stand up for myself.”

Kibum scoffed “Then why haven’t I seen you do it?”

“Fine, I’m gonna show you. I’m going to talk to Do—that person!” I said and left in a huff

Just a Friend 29

2009-09-05T02:26:00.000-07:00

Chapter 29

I quickly covered my mouth but it was too late I already let out an involuntary gasp.
Donghae separated himself from the Taeyeon and turned to the door, when he saw it was me, his eyes turned round and big.

“Soon Ae” he muttered

I couldn’t stand it any longer and I started to run away. Donghae followed me, calling my name, but I ignored him. Not wanting to talk to him, not wanting to even see his face. I sped up and continued to run until I reached G.A.L’s van.

“Oppa, drive.” I said

My manager was confused but he drove anyway. I looked behind and I saw Donghae chasing the car. I looked away and cried quietly.

==
I opened my eyes. It’s the first time that I woke up by myself ever since being a celebrity. My head ached from the lack of sleep and all the crying I did but compared to the pain in my heart, it was nothing.

I left a sticky note on the refrigerator and left to take an early morning walk. Since there weren’t too many people, I wasn’t disturbed. I looked around me and tried to enjoy the beautiful view but Dongae keeps popping up in my mind.

I felt so confused. What was going on? Why was he with Taeyeon? Are they dating? Didn’t Taeyeon help Jessica earlier with Donghae? Were they cheating Jessica too?
There were so many questions and I felt so frustrated and angry that I didn’t have an answer to even one of them.

I finally stopped and looked up to see where I was. To my surprise, I found myself in SoShi’s dorm. At that moment, I knew what I had to do. I needed to talk to Jessica.
Luckily, like the last time I visited, Jessica was alone.

“Is this about Donghae?” Jessica asked, knowingly

I looked at her “How did you know unnie?”

Jessica smiled “Well it seems that whenever we get together, it’s because of Donghae one way or another.”

I smiled as I realized that she was right. Suddenly, Jessica had a serious look on her face.

“Have you been crying?”

I looked away, my eyes have been puffy and red. “No.” I lied

“What’s the problem?” Jessica asked

I looked at Jessica, having a fierce battle with myself, whether I could trust her or not. Judging by everything she’s helped me with and the sincerity in her eyes, I know I could but Taeyeon. It’s obvious they’re close to each other and Jessica would obviously trust Taeyeon more than me.

Before I could come to a decision, the door opened and the 7 girls of So Nyuh Shi Dae came in. They greeted me with their usual cheerful and bright selves, even Taeyeon.

“I have to go.” I said and left, 7 pairs of eyes watching me

I am such a coward. That was my chance, I could have just confronted Jessica or Taeyeon but I couldn’t. My members’ words suddenly came into mind:

‘If anything happens, make sure we’re the first to know.’

I promised that I would but I felt like, this was something I had to solve on my own. I picked up my phone, took a deep breath and called Donghae’s phone. A part of me wanted him to pick up but the other part didn’t want him to.

‘Donghae’s not here right now. Please leave a message after the beep.’

I sighed in relief and disappointment. How is it possible to feel so many things at once? I started to walk towards the dorm. The girls are probably awake by now. I stopped by a café to buy our favorite loaf of bread. I noticed people’s stares and whispers but I ignored them.

When it was my turn to order, the teenage boy behind the counter gawked at me. Even though I felt totally awkward, I flashed him a bright smile and said my order. I took out my wallet to pay but the boy said I didn’t need to and that an autograph was sufficient.
So I gave him my autograph and left. Being a celebrity does have some perks but who ever said it was glamorous?I opened the door, about to scream ‘I’m home’ but I stopped when I saw Donghae in the living room with my members.

==
“Do you have something to tell me?” I asked Donghae, avoiding his eyes

My members had left to keep us some privacy but I was well aware that they were just behind the door, listening on in our conversation. Donghae took my hand.

“I need to explain myself.” Donghae said

I blinked my eyes furiously, trying not to cry. I gently took my hand away from him.

“Shoot.”
“About what you saw…” Donghae paused, as if trying to find the right words “I…”

“No, it’s alright.” I finally turned to look at Donghae “I think it’s better if we just stay friends.”

Donghae’s eyes widened “Wh-what do you mean?”

“From the start, a lot of things were already in the way of our love and now I’ve realized that maybe we were never supposed to be together.”

“Soon Ae-sshi…”

I stood up and opened the door, my members tumbled to the floor.

“The bread’s on the dining table.” I told them and left

I met Kibum at the SM building.

Kibum sighed “You called me saying you wanted to talk, but you’re not saying even a word.”

“I just need your company.” I replied

“Do you want to cry?”

I looked at Kibum and he patted his shoulder “Come here.”

I encircled my arms on his waist and I started crying, he reciprocated my hug. For awhile, I got tired of crying and I stopped but I didn’t step away from Kibum. A hug was what I needed right now.

“What is this?!”

Donghae? Kibum and I separated and looked towards the door. Donghae gave us an intense glare, this was the first time I’ve seen him like this and it sent shivers down my spine. H

“Is this why you wanted to break up?!” Donghae roared

“You bastard!” Donghae shouted at Kibum before running towards him and giving him a hard punch on the face.

Just a Friend 28

2009-09-05T02:22:00.000-07:00

Chapter 28

Complications

The doorbell rang early in the morning once again. I rolled in bed, waiting for Vian to get up and answer it. When she didn’t even move, I threw a pillow at her.

“Go answer the door.”

“I don’t want to. What if it was LSM again?”

The doorbell rang again. This time it was pretty obvious that no one was going to answer the door so I stood up from bed and walked towards the door.

“I’m coming.” I called out

I opened the door and froze “Unnie?”

==
It seems that it have been people’s hobby to just randomly coming to the door. First Kibum, then LSM and now Jessica but something that I’ve noticed though was that it always ended well in the end.

“Actually, I just came here to return something to you.” Jessica announced

Return? I don’t remember lending her anything. Jessica took something out of her purse but I couldn’t see what it was because it was clamped in her fist. She took my hand and put whatever it was in it. I furrowed my brows as I looked at her.

“Open it.” Jessica urged

I hesitantly looked down on my palm and opened my hand. I gasped when I saw what Jessica had given me, it was the necklace. My eyes flew up to her neck and I saw that it was bare.

“Unnie..”

“Don’t say anything. That necklace seems to be special to Donghae and I think the only girl who deserves to have that necklace is the one who owns his heart and that’s you.” Jessica said, tears in her eyes, even though she forced a smile

Seeing her like that was just heartbreaking. Jessica is such a brave and strong girl. Unlike me, I never fought for my love of Donghae, but she went through a lot and now she’s just giving him to me like that. Tears formed in my own eyes and I hugged her.

“Gamsahamnida unnie.”

Jessica was about to leave and has already stepped out of the dorm when she suddenly turned around.

“Soon Ae-sshi, can I ask you for a favor?”

I nodded

“You….please take care of Donghae oppa.” Jessica smiled even when there were tears in her eyes

I smiled and nodded my head “I will unnie.”

==
Since I had some free time, I decided to make a lunchbox for Donghae. The only difference was that he wouldn’t be able to eat it during lunch because we weren’t going to meet until late night but midnight snacks are great!

I entered the room and called Donghae’s cellphone. It took three consecutive rings before he could answer.

“Yobosaeyo?”

“Oppa, it’s me. Could you come to the room?”

Donghae didn’t answer

“Oppa? Are you still there?”

“Oh. Sorry Soon Ae, something distracted me. I’m sorry but I can’t go, we still have some filming to do.”

“Oh.”

“Why? Did you prepare something special?”

“Nothing oppa.” My grip tightened on the lunchbox

“Ah, well I have to go. Bye!” Before I could even answer, Donghae has already turned off the phone call.

I sighed. Why am I even disappointed? It’s not like this wasn’t bound to happen. Donghae couldn’t have all his evenings free, especially since they’re promoting a new song now.

I went back to the practice room and joined the members. Even though it’s been awhile that I’ve actually spent time with them behind the scenes, they welcomed me and we started to goof around and laugh.

Just when I was about to sleep, my phone rang. I wanted to ignore it but when I saw it was Donghae I quickly exited my and Vian’s bedroom and went to the living room.

“Yobosaeyo?”

“Soon Ae-sshi, sorry.”

“Why?”

“Because I hung up on you earlier.” Donghae said, his voice somber

I smiled “It’s alright.”

“Well let me make up to you, tomorrow let’s have a midnight snack together, arasso?”

“Arasso.”

==
The next night I waited for Donghae in our room. I even set up a picnic mat and scented candles to set the mood. I also filled the mat with rose petals.

But an hour past and Donghae didn’t come. I tried to contact him but his phone just kept on ringing. It took another 20 minutes for me to realize that he wouldn’t come. I stood up, tears stinging my eyes and opened the door but then I saw Kibum.He gave me a smile and held up a picnic basket, I smiled back and let him in.

“How’d you know I was here?” I asked, as I bit into a sandwich

“I had this gut feeling.” Kibum looked around “Were you planning something?”

I stopped eating and looked down “I was supposed to have a snack with Donghae.”

Kibum cleared his throat uncomfortably “He’s just probably busy.”

“I know. I can’t blame him.” I sighed

==
The next day, hoping to catch Donghae, I opened the door to the room. It suddenly felt like de ja vu as I saw Donghae with another girl, their lips together.

Just a Friend 27

2009-09-05T02:16:00.000-07:00

Chapter 27

Soon Ae is in ♥!!^^

I woke up from a long and peaceful sleep. It’s been awhile since I’ve slept like this but the best thing was, was not because I got to have a good rest because I was waking up in the arms of someone I love. I looked up and saw that Donghae was still sleeping.

I slowly lifted my right hand and caressed his face. His arms around me tightened and I snuggled to him closer, closing my eyes with my head on his chest.

Ok, ok. This never happened. Well what did you expect? I mean we’ve just confessed the night earlier! Anyway, this is really what happened that night…

“But oppa, how about Jessica unnie?” I asked

“Jessica, she’s going to be fine without me.” Donghae gave me an assuring smile “So, are you still going to leave?”

I smiled and shook my head. Donghae hugged me one more time and caressed my hair.

“Ya!” Kibum interrupted “Are you two going to just hug all night or are we going back to G.A.L’s dorm?”

Dongae headlocked Kibum and ruffled his hair.

“Aish, don’t mess up my hair.” Kibum complained

Both of the guys picked up my bags and with Donghae’s arm around my shoulders, we went back to the dorm. I entered the dorm and my members froze with shocked expressions on their faces.

I smiled at them and before I could even say ‘I’m back’ they were already around me, giving me a group hug and asking me a bunch of questions like ‘why did I say I was leaving?’ and saying ‘how they hated me for doing that.’

I looked at the back to Kibum and Donghae. They signaled that they were going to leave. I smiled at them then returned to my members. Once everyone has calmed down, the members and I gathered in the living room. I’ve just finished explaining to them why I was about to leave.

“Why didn’t you tell us about it?” Regine broke the silence

“Would it have changed anything if I did?” I answered

“That’s the problem with you. You never tell us about your problems. We are always the last ones to know and we’re the people you spend almost 24/7 with.” Vian said

“I didn’t want to burde—“

“There you go again! Thinking that you’re a burden. Weren’t you the one who said we were a family? That we’ll always be there for each other?” Jesselyn interrupted

“I know and I’m sorry.” I fidgeted with my fingers

“It’s fine. Next time, if anything happens, make sure we’re the ones to know first or we will personally kick you out of the group.” Jesselyn teased

I smiled “Well actually, Donghae oppa and I…we’re..”

“You like each other.” Vian interrupted again

“What? I haven’t even said anything!”

“You never tell us about anything but it doesn’t mean we don’t know anything. Besides from you two, everyone else was aware of your feelings for each other.” Jesselyn explained, looking at her fingernails

I looked at them, one by one, appalled by this sudden bit of information. “So you guys knew all along?!”

“Pretty much, yeah.” Regine nodded

“Why didn’t you tell me?” I whined

“We wanted for you to figure it out on your own.” Vian said “And besides, it was fun watching you two.”

I glared at them as they gave me smug smiles.

==
The very next day, I met LSM once again. Only this time, I didn’t go to his office but he came to the dorm. Just imagine our shock when early in the morning, the doorbell rang and it didn’t help that Vian almost screamed at LSM either, thinking it might be the manager.

So here we were, still in our sleeping clothes, eating breakfast with LSM himself. Greeaatt. LSM was calm but the rest of us were tensed. I accidentally made eye-contact with Jesselyn and just by looking at her eyes, I knew we were thinking about the same thing: What is LSM doing here?

“Vian-sshi, this coffee is good.” LSM spoke at last

“Gamsahamnida.” Vian said

LSM smiled “If you girls don’t mind, I would like to talk to Soon Ae alone.”
The girls stood up and left the room, but not before saying good luck to me through their eyes.

“I’ve heard that you decided not to leave, is it true?”

“Yes.”

LSM sighed “I don’t know what’s going on nor do I intend to find out but I’m really happy you changed your mind and everyone’s already been informed so you don’t have to worry about repeating the same story again and again.”

I relaxed. So this was it?

“Well I’ve done what I had to do.” LSM stood up “It’s good to have you back.” LSM gave me a handshake

==
Of course the story about me leaving was leaked to the press but LSM advised to just keep my mouth shut, so every time someone would bring up the story, I would simply laugh and brush it off.

Donghae and I were in our “room” again. You know the room next to the vending machine. That special place of ours.

“Look, a shooting star!” Donghae pointed out

“Let’s make a wish!” I urged and I closed my eyes

I finished making my wish and opened my eyes. I turned to look at Donghae and caught him staring at me. Assuming, he already made a wish, I asked “Oppa, what did you wish for?”

“Nothing.” Donghae answered

“Why?”

Donghae put his hands on my shoulders and turned me so that I could fully face him “Because my wish has already come true.”

I was still clueless as to what he was trying to say “So what is it?”

Donghae smiled “Babo, it’s you, who else would it be.”

It took another second for me to fully digest what he just said, when I did, a smile came to my own face. Then without any warning, Donghae started leaning towards me. We’ve already kissed before but that was sudden, this is the real thing.
I closed my eyes as I waited for his soft lips to land on mine and when it did, it felt magical. Sparks flew, fireworks lit the sky and I felt myself flying off the floor. I opened my eyes after the short but seemingly long kiss and gazed into Donghae’s eyes.

I opened my mouth to say something but Donghae put his finger on my lips to silence me. I closed my mouth and Donghae whispered the words: “Just let me enjoy this moment.”

And we stood there, gazing into each others’ eyes and smiling happily.

Just a Friend 26

2009-09-05T02:11:00.000-07:00

Chapter 26

The day came for my final performance. For others, it was merely a special stage, no one knew that I was really saying my goodbyes.As I was singing, there was a huge screen beside me, showing pictures and videos from my pre-debut up to now.

As I sang my song, I can’t help tearing up and at times my voice shook. I also saw some of my fans tearing up which caused me even to be sadder. When I sang the last line, I bowed down my head, not wanting to let anyone see that my tears have come out.

That same night, we had a party at SM and not just an ordinary party either, it was my birthday/ farewell party. I seemed happy as usual but being surrounded by people who were so important to me, the pain was just unbearable.

I leaned at the food booth, taking a sip out of my drink. I sighed and looked around me. Everyone looked so happy. I peeked at my watch for like the 91327th time. I haven’t seen a sign of Donghae. Wasn’t he going to come?

I looked up just in time to see Donghae coming through the door. I smiled happily for the first time in so long. Donghae looked at my direction and smiled, he quickly maneuvered his way through the crowd and went into Jessica’s arms.He didn’t even see me.

A staff came and whispered to me through the loud music. I nodded my head and set my drink on the table. The lights dimmed and the music stopped. My manager came up on stage and called me up.

A spotlight came on me and I instantly smiled. As I made my way to the stage, people sang the happy birthday song to me. I stepped on stage and took the microphone from the manager.

I looked at the crowd and smiled “First of all, I would like to thank you all for taking time off your busy schedules and coming. It has only been a short while since my stay here but I already feel at home here. For that, I thank you.” I bowed down to show my gratitude as everyone clapped

“This day is very special to me and not just because it’s my birthday but also because, today will be my last day as G.A.L’s member and being a part of SM Ent.” I paused and sighed “I’m sorry for only telling this to you know but I didn’t want to burden you all and it was kept as a secret between me, my manager and LSM. Once again, I would like to my express my gratitude for everything and I hope you all nothing but the best. SM Ent. Hwaiting!”

With that said, I stepped off the stage and left the room. Together with my manager, I entered the van and left for the dorm. I finished my packing and did some last minute check to make sure I wouldn’t leave anything behind.

“Soon Ae, are you ready to go?” The manager asked

“I still have to do something oppa. Go ahead, I’ll catch up.” I smiled

The manager nodded and left the room. I put down my bags and went around the dorm, it was the last time I was going to be here. It was over. Everything was really over. Before I could start crying, I picked up my bags and opened the door.

“What are you doing here?” I blinked my eyes rapidly, making sure if what I seeing was real.

Kibum lifted his head “Can we talk for a bit?”

“So you’re really leaving?” Kibum asked

I nodded my head.

“When?”

“Now.” I answered

“Why are you doing this?”

“Is there a reason for me not to do this?”

“Of course there is. There are many reasons.”

“But none of it mean anything to me.”

Kibum scoffed “Really? If it didn’t then you should have left a long time ago.”

“I have to go.” I picked up my bags and started to walk away

“Are you really going to leave everything behind? Your friends, your dreams and most importantly Donghae!” Kibum shouted

I froze at the mention of Donghae’s name

“Are you really prepared to see him in the arms of another woman without even fighting for him?” Kibum calmed down

“I don’t care about those things anymore. The Soon Ae you’ve met, the one who cared so much about her friends, the one whose dream was to be an idol and the one who loved Donghae oppa is now gone.”

I took a step forward but froze once again as I heard another voice.

“I don’t believe you.”

Donghae. I quickly turned around to see if I was right and I was. Donghae walked towards me, grabbed me by the shoulders and put his lips on mine. My eyes widened and I dropped my bags.

From afar, Jessica was watching a corner, tears spilled from her eyes but she still smiled. Happy that finally, the truth has come out.

Donghae finally separated his lips from mine and gave me an intense look “If I ask you to be my girlfriend, would you stay?”

Tears spilled from my own eyes but this time it was because I was happy.

“Don’t cry.” Donghae wiped my tears and gave me a tight hug “Soon Ae-sshi, saranghamnida.” Donghae whispered

----

Just a Friend 25

2009-09-05T02:05:00.000-07:00

Chapter 25

My steps echoed within the hallways. I just came back from the café carrying hot drinks for me and my members. I looked up and saw Donghae. He was coming in my direction. I stopped walking and stared at him, hoping to see his face bright up with a smile or even just a friendly hug.

He was coming closer and closer.

Only a few metres away

And then…

He passes by.

No smile, not a single word, not even a glance.

Even though I tried not to, tried my very best. I couldn’t do it, I couldn’t stop my tears from spilling. I couldn’t stop myself from dropping the drinks and I couldn’t stop myself from falling on my knees.

I heard footsteps coming towards me and a spark of hope ignited in my heart, I looked up and saw not what I was hoping for but it was fine. Kibum kneeled down in front of me and started to wipe my tears with his handkerchief but his effort was useless because my tears wouldn’t stop flowing.

He finally gave up, threw away his handkerchief, and enveloped me in his arms. I cried more and more.

==
“You can no longer deny it.” Kibum stated

“Deny what?” I asked

“That you’re in love with Donghae.”

I looked at my hands. He was right, it was no use trying to deny it anymore. I slowly nodded my head.

“What did I tell you before? You were only going to get hurt.”

I wasn’t even in the mood to feel annoyed at his lecture.

“What can I do? Can you really stop the heart once it starts to beat?”

Aware of Kibum’s stare, I smiled “Maybe this is the best. Maybe this way I could forget about him and move on.”
I’m so pathetic. Why am I even trying to convince myself everything’s going to be alright? I was only making a fool of myself.

During the practice, I kept making mistakes to the point that it made the trainer angry.

“If you’re not going to concentrate, it’s best if you just leave.”

“Sorry.” I responded tonelessly, I picked up my bags and left the room. Ignoring the fact that everyone was looking at me worriedly.

I kept on being distracted at practices, either forgetting the steps or bumping into members all the while saying sorry in a feeble voice. The day before the actual performance I didn’t even improve by a bit so the managers had no choice but to remove me.

So while the girls were performing on stage, I was back at home watching them. Unknowingly, I started to cry again and not just because I wasn’t able to perform either.

==
I was called into LSM’s office once more. How many times have I been here? Thrice? Four times?

“You called for me?” I entered his office

LSM turned around in his chair, he looked grim and his lips were pursed “Soon Ae-sshi, are you really serious about being an idol?”

“Of course. Why?”

“I know you’re aware that you haven’t been doing well lately. Why? Is there a problem?”

“Well….to be honest—“

“Whatever it is, you shouldn’t let it affect work. I don’t want to do this but if you don’t improve soon, I’ll have to take you out of the group and replace you.” LSM explained as he looked through some papers

“I understand. I’ll go and pack my bags.”

LSM looked up abruptly “What?”

“To be honest, I’ve been considering leaving for awhile now.” I paused and smiled “It was an honor being able to work with you. Thank you for giving me this chance and I’m sorry to disappoint you.” I bowed down and turned to leave

“Are you really serious?” LSM asked
I turned to face him and nodded my head.

“You have a lot of potential to be a great entertainer someday and it’s such a waste to throw this opportunity but if that’s your final decision, there’s nothing I can do about it. Tell your manager to go in. We’ll talk about your final appearance.”

I bowed down and left.
==

It was arranged that I’ll be leaving in a week. My leaving was kept secret between me, LSM and the manager as I requested. I didn’t want to affect my members negatively. For the last week, I worked extra hard.

I performed with all my heart and brought took an active part on variety shows. In the eyes of the people around me, I was happy and carefree but inside, it was the exact opposite. Every time I forced a smile and pretended to be happy, I felt my heart shatter just a bit more.

It didn’t help that whenever I saw Donghae, he also seemed happy. I guess he’s moved on. Even though it hurts, I’m happy for him.

I was in one of the rooms of SM building, it was quiet and calm. Just what I needed. It has been agreed on that in my final performance, I would sing a song that I composed myself.

I was about to start writing when the door opened.

“Oh, I’m sorry. I didn’t know anyone was here.” Jessica bowed down to apologize, it seemed she didn’t see me.

“It’s alright unnie.”

Jessica looked up and brightened “Soon Ae, it’s just you. Am I disturbing you?”

“No, how have you been unnie?”

“I am so glad you asked that.” Jessica took a seat beside me “ I want to show you something. Don’t tell anyone about it ok?”

I nodded my head. Jessica looked around then slowly took something out of her pocket. I saw a long silver chain, a necklace. When it was fully out, I felt all my energy drained, it was that necklace. The very necklace that Donghae gave me but I returned.

Jessica giggled “How is it? It’s pretty right?”

“Unnie, where’d you get it?”

“Donghae gave it to me.” Jessica smiled

I forced a smile even when my tears were about to burst “It’s pretty unnie, it looks good on you. Unnie, I have to go.”

“Why?” Jessica’s smile faded

“I promised my members I would cook our dinner today. It was nice talking to you unnie.” I bowed down and left before Jessica could protest.

==
I arrived home.

“Soon Ae, is that you?” My members called out from the dining room “Come here and eat dinner with us.”

“I’m not hungry unnie. I’ll go to bed.”

I laid in bed and looked up at the ceiling. The events that has happened these past few months seemed to be playing in the ceiling. From my debut, my first meeting with Donghae, when we were locked in the room, the fake snow, when Donghae gave me the necklace, when he told me what a good friend I was and when I said my goodbyes.

I also saw the fun times I had with my members, our practices, our performances, our goofing around. I even saw Kibum. The way he would turn up at random times then annoy me to death.

I’m really going to miss these moments. I sighed and closed my eyes. Let’s just see what happens next. Hopefully everything works out.

Just a Friend 24

2009-09-05T02:00:00.000-07:00

Chapter 24

Goodbye

The girls and I had just finished our special stage. We had performed SNSD’s Gee. We were doing the ending pose and I was breathing pretty heavily. Those practices really paid off. I haven’t made a single mistake and my vocals weren’t that bad either.

As soon as we got home, the girls and I went to the internet. Netizens are fast. It has only been an hour since the performance and it’s already on YouTube. We scrolled down to the comments.

‘Wow! The perf was good but I think they still could improve.’

‘They’re all so pretty!!!’

‘This reminds me of the time when they were known to be the ‘next generation of SNSD’ lol.’

After that comment, a debate started. Whether or not we were really like SNSD but I don’t really agree. SNSD is one of a kind yo~! Now where did that yo come from?
I laughed hysterically.

Regine hit me in the head and told me to shut up. Before I could hit her back, my phone rang. I glared at Regine and went to my room to answer the call.

“Yobosaeyo? No, I’m not busy. Now?”

==
“Where are you going?” Jesselyn asked

“I’m just going to meet someone. I’ll be back soon.” I smiled and left

==
I opened the door to the café and saw Taeyeon.

“Unnie.”

Taeyeon looked up and smiled “Sit down.”

I smiled and sat across the chair in front of her.

“Sorry if I called you so late.” Taeyeon gave me an apologetic smile

“No, unnie. It’s alright.”

“I’m really glad that you met up with me.”

I smiled. To be honest, I was feeling kind of nervous.

“Soon Ae-sshi, I actually have something very important to discuss with you.” Taeyeon paused “I know I’m not in the right to position to say this but… could you stay away from Donghae oppa for awhile?”

I looked at Taeyeon. Did my ears deceive me? Did I just hear her say to stay away from Donghae?

I walked back to the dorm, tears falling down from my eyes. I can’t believe what I just did.

‘What?” I squeaked, barely being able to speak.

‘Soon Ae-sshi, you are also aware of Jessica and Donghae’s relationship, am I right?” Taeyeon said slowly, as if she herself was doubting her actions

I nodded

‘Lately, Jessica hasn’t been herself. She said there’s been tension between her and Donghae oppa. Soon Ae, you have to understand. I’m just trying to protect my members.” Taeyeon looked at me with pleading eyes ‘ Just until they fix things. Can you do it? Not only for Jessica but also for Donghae oppa.’

I wanted to say no. I wanted to shout at her and leave but I didn’t have the guts to do so and I found myself agreeing to her.

I entered the dorm and saw my members gathered in the living room. One glance at their faces and I saw how worried they were for me. No words were spoken, they simply stood up and gave me a hug my tears poured out.

==
I took a deep breath, preparing myself for what I was about to do. In this very place I’m standing, was also the place where Donghae had told me I was such a good friend.

“Soon Ae-sshi!”

I turned around and saw Donghae. He was cheerful as usual, smiling and running towards me.

“Why is it that you wanted to meet me?” Donghae asked “By chance, you’re not asking me for a date right?” Donghae winked

“Oppa.” I pouted

“I was just joking.” Donghae chuckled
I smiled and looked down.

“Soon Ae-sshi, is something wrong?”

I looked up, revealing my tear-strained eyes.

“Soon Ae-sshi…” Donghae said, taken aback

I forced a smile on my face “Oppa, the truth is I needed to say something very important to you.”

“What is it?” Donghae frowned like a little kid, I’m going to miss that look.

I opened my mouth to speak but it seemed I suddenly became mute. I licked my lips in frustration and tried again.

“Oppa, the times I’ve spent with you have been fun and those moments will be forever imprinted in my mind but—“

“Are you saying goodbye?” Donghae interrupted

I stared at him. How did he know? Before I could ask him that question, he pulled me into his arms and gave me a tight hug. It took all my might not to cry.

“Soon Ae-sshi, please don’t. Don’t do this.” Donghae’s voice broke and I felt my shoulder starting to get wet. Then I realized he was crying.

I pulled away from him gently. I slowly took off my necklace and put it in his hand “Oppa, goodbye.”

I turned, about to walk away when Donghae grabbed my wrist.

“What happened to our promise? The promise that you were never going to leave me?” Donghae spoke, his voice now strong and calm

I turned and looked at him in the eye, appearing strong “I never meant it. I only said those words because I felt bad for you.”

Donghae’s eyes widened at the sudden confession. His strong grip loosened more and more until he had let go of my hand. I walked away before I could cry in front of him. What have I done?

---

Just a Friend 23

2009-09-05T01:54:00.000-07:00

Chapter 23

My boyfriend?!

Luckily, the pictures hasn’t been released to the media and LSM have done precautions for it not to happen too. I don’t know how but I think they paid whoever it was who took the picture to keep quiet. LSM has also told me to keep quiet about the pictures.

As far as I know, the only persons who know are LSM, Kibum, me and our managers so I was surprised when one day, Donghae suddenly appeared while G.A.L was practicing and dragged me out of the room.

“Are you and Kibum dating?”

“What?”

“I said are you and Kibum dating?” Donghae looked at me seriously

“I…”

“We are.” Kibum suddenly appeared in the door with Jessica behind him

“What?” I looked at Kibum

“Oh Soon Ae, I’m so happy for you!” Jessica walked forward me and gave me a hug “You and Kibum look so good together. Don’t they Donghae?” Jessica smiled as Kibum put his arm around me

I also smiled and quietly stepped on Kibum’s foot. “Ouch!”

“What’s the problem? Honey?” I said in a sickly sweet way, Kibum gave me a grimace

“Yeah, they do look together.” Donghae announced

We stared at him and I felt my heart pound. Donghae smiled “Soon Ae-sshi, I’m happy for you.” Donghae ruffled my hair

He put his arm around Jessica and they left the room. My eyes started to water. I really didn’t mean anything to him, don’t I?

“Ya, don’t tell me your going to cry because I’m your ‘boyfriend’ now. I don’t want it either.”

I sniffed and took a deep breath “Why did you do that?” I jabbed a finger at his chest

“Well excuse me, for trying to do you a favor.” Kibum replied

I scoffed “And how was that doing me a favor?”

Kibum sighed “Do I really have to explain everything to you always? Because we want to see Donghae’s reaction and see if he feels anything for you.”

“Well, you just saw for yourself, that he doesn’t and won’t like me. Ever. Are you happy now?” I turned around and walked away

One again, I pulled out all my frustrations during practice. I practiced so much, even in breaks that it didn’t take long for me to collapse.

I heard my members shout my name and hurt towards me

“Soon Ae, are you alright?”

I gasped as I tried to get some air “I-I’m alright. Water, please.”

One of the members hurried to get a bottle of water and hand it to me. I took one big gulp and instantly felt better.

“Thanks.”

My members helped me up on a corner, Regine used her jacket as my pillow and I laid there. In a few minutes, I dozed off.

When I woke up, the girls were already fixing their things. I jerked up.

“Wh-What’s going on?”

Jesselyn smiled “You slept so well that it would make us feel guilty if we woke you up and besides you practiced hard today.”

“Soon Ae, you want me help you pack your things?” Vian asked, grabbing my ipod that was on the floor

“No, you guys just go ahead.”

“Are you sure?” Regine stood up, slinging her bag on her shoulder

“Yeah, I’ll finish up here and I’ll follow.”

After convincing them more, the girls finally let me be. While cleaning up, I can’t help crying.

==
After cleaning up, I proceeded to the van. I passed one of the practice rooms, then stopped, then backed up. The door was open a little so I peeked. Inside, were Kibum and Donghae. They gave each other serious looks, almost like a..glare?

“Kibum, I’m warning you. Even you’re already like a brother to me, if you break Soon Ae’s heart, I will never forgive you.” Donghae said

“Don’t worry, I would never do that. I will protect her as much and as long as I can.”

I dropped whatever I was holding and it made a soft sound but since there was barely anyone left, it echoed across the halls.

Kibum and Donghae walked out of the room, looking around. I was hidden by a large wall so they couldn’t see me. Aish, how could I be so clumsy? I walked away.

==
“Ya, why did you want to meet me?”

Kibum turned around “Did you lose something?”

I rolled my eyes “No.”

“Are you sure?”

“Yes.” I hissed

Kibum held out his hand and opened it revealing a necklace, the chain held by his finger. It wasn’t just an ordinary necklace either, it was the necklace that Donghae gave me.

“Where’d you get that?” I tried grabbing it from him but he hid it

“Ya, give it back to me.” I demanded

“Next time, you shouldn’t eavesdrop on other people’s conversation.” Kibum gave me back my necklace and started to walk away, he was near the door when he stopped “And by the way, I didn’t really mean those things I said, I just wanted to piss him off.” Kibum proceeded out the door

==
I walked in the hallways of SM building. I haven’t seen Donghae all day and I haven’t seen Kibum since our last conversation either. What’s up with these problems popping up all the time?

I stopped when I heard the sound of someone crying. I located the sound and entered the room. It was Jessica.

“Unnie!” I rushed towards her “Unnie, are you alright?”

Jessica quickly wiped her tears “I’m fine.” Jessica smiled

“Unnie, don’t try to act strong. Tell me quickly. What’s the problem?”

Jessica sniffed “Soon Ae, I think Donghae doesn’t love me anymore.” She started to cry again

“Unnie, what are you talking about? Oppa loves you with all his heart.”

“But why can’t I feel it? Lately, whenever we’re together, this tension has appeared. I try to reach out to him but he’s mind is always somewhere else. Soon Ae, you’re his best friend. Are you sure there’s no one?”

“I’m positive. He loves you, he loves you a lot.”

Jessica smiled, a real one this time. “Maybe I was just being paranoid, Thanks Soon Ae.”

“No problem.”

Just a Friend 22

2009-09-05T01:47:00.000-07:00

Chapter 22

First step, no one noticed me. Second step, some people started to look at me. Third step, everyone’s attention was on me and 4th step, everyone either looked at me in awe or smiled graciously.

I stood there and tried my best to smile despite my fluttering heart. What am I supposed to do now? Then I saw Kibum walking towards me, he stood beside me and bended his arm, signaling for me to hold on to it which I did.

Kibum was my first dance but Donghae was the last.

“You…” Donghae smiled “look really beautiful.”

I shot back a shy smile “Really? Thanks.”

No more words were exchanged after that, just dancing and smiling. In the corner of my eye, I saw the other G.A.L members on the dance floor, each with a partner. Regine was with Sungmin, Jesselyn was with Taemin and Vian was with Siwon. It seems we really turned out to be princesses tonight, matched with our prince charming of course.
==
After the dance, I sat on a swing in the nearby playground.

“There you are, I’ve been looking all over for you.”

I looked up and saw Kibum, he took a step towards me. “Aren’t you feeling cold?”

“Just a bit.” I answered

Kibum took off his coat and put it on me “Do you want me to take you home?”

“…..”

Kibum sighed and sat on the swing beside me “What’s the problem?”

I looked at him “What do you mean?”

“Don’t even try to deny it. It’s written all over your face.”

I smiled a little “Do you know Cinderella? Cinderella was a beautiful and kind-hearted girl but no one really noticed her but then one night, on a dance, she became the belle of the ball and got to dance with her prince charming but it struck 12am and she had to leave, leaving behind her prince charming and her fame.”

Kibum reached out to ruffle my hair but stopped.

“What’s wrong?” I looked at him

Kibum smile “Your hair is too pretty tonight, I can’t bring myself to ruin it.”

I smiled back but Kibum suddenly turned 360 degrees around.

“But why are you comparing yourself to Cinderella? You’re not beautiful and you’re not kind-hearted.”

I stood up, took off his coat and threw it at him “If you came here just to insult me then you shouldn’t have come.”

I took off my heels and set out home. Kibum called out to me but I ignored him and continued walking.

==
One by one, the G.A.L members phone rang and one by one we didn’t even bother to check our phone and just cut off the phone call but our manager won’t give up and kept on calling.

Finally, Vian got it and picked it up “Arasso, stop calling already.”

After the call, Vian laid back on her bed and fell asleep. Besides the dance, the girls and I had an after party and we drank some alcohol so we really didn’t feel that good and since we didn’t get up sooner, we ended up missing our first schedule.

We were called in to LSM’s office right after the rest of our schedules were finished and we got lectured on importance of being on time, responsibility and professionalism. We could have gotten into more trouble if the PD hadn’t give us a second chance.

In the practice that followed, the girls and I poured out our frustration and disappointment. We worked so hard that by the end of it, every muscle of our body ached.

==
One by one, we entered the car and laid on a seat. I was lucky enough to get the backseat all to myself. When we arrived at home, even though we were dead tired, we didn’t go to sleep.

We all gathered in the living room. Our thoughts on the same sentence from LSM’s mouth.

‘If you don’t want to disband and continue to be a girl group, you should work harder and be more responsible.’

“He’s right.” Jesselyn spoke

“We were too irresponsible.” Regine added
“Who told us to have an after party anyway?” Vian frowned

“You did.” I answered

“Oh.” Vian quieted

I got up “Well… there’s no use if we just keep on moping around like this. Let’s just go to bed.”

Vian and I separated with Jesselyn and Regine.

The next day, I was called in once more to LSM’s office.

“What’s this supposed to mean?” LSM put down a bunch of pictures

“Pictures?” I answered

“But what’s the content in it?”

I frowned and picked up the pictures. I gasped as I saw that it was pictures of Kibum and I at the park.

Just a Friend 21

2009-09-05T01:39:00.000-07:00

Chapter 21

Dance

I peeled off a piece of bread and chewed it. I am so bored. The other members are at their individual schedules while I was stuck at home. My next activity was about in 2 hours. I should probably rest but I’m not feeling the least bit of fatigue.

My phone suddenly vibrated, indicating that I had a new message. I wiped off the crumbs of my hand on the side of my shorts and grabbed my phone from the counter.

‘Soon Ae-sshi, annyeong!^^
How are you feeling today?
You’re so small but so heavy.’

I replied ‘Who is this?’

After a few moments, another message came back ‘I’m a friend. Always take care!’

I replied with another ‘who is this’. After half an hour of waiting, I realized I wasn’t gonna receive from my ‘friend’ anytime soon so now I only have an hour and 30 minutes left for my free time.

What’s a girl like me to do? I groaned and put my head on the table. It didn’t take long before my phone vibrated again accompanied with some music this time, causing my head also to shake.

“Ouch.” I touched my forehead

I grumbled some random words and took my phone. The name ‘Donghae’ with a picture of him came across the screen. I took a deep breath and put on a happy face.

“Oppa? Why’d you call? What?! No! Wait for me! Ok? I’m coming!”

I didn’t even bother to change out of my pajamas and just grabbed a jacket then ran out of the dorm.

==
I ran towards SJ’s dorm and knocked loudly on the door.

“Oppa? Oppa! Oppa, open up!”

The door opened revealing Donghae “You came fast.” He pointed out, looking at the watch on the wall.

Something is very wrong here. Didn’t he say earlier that there was an emergency? And now, he’s standing before me, fine and smiling. I can’t believe he just tricked me.

“You—“ I was about to point out what I just realized when he suddenly pulled me in

“I’m so glad you came! The other members are busy with their own schedules and I’m the only one left at home so I was really bored and I suddenly thought of you!” Donghae said, all the while, dragging me in.

He gently pushed me to the couch. I stared at him. He had a happy smile on his face with his hands on his waist. His eyes went up and down as his smile faded. I silently cursed as I tried my best to cover my outfit with my jacket.

“You came wearing only your pajamas?” Donghae raised a brow

“Well you made it seem like an emergency so I came as fast as I can.” I explained as I felt blood run to my cheeks

Donghae smile “Don’t worry. It’s cute.” Donghae ruffled my hair and went to the kitchen

A smile came to my face. After a few minutes, Donghae came back with a tray of food and drinks. He set it on the table in front of the couch then sat beside me.

“Oppa, how are things with Jessica unnie going?” I asked

“Everything’s fine. Back to normal. It’s just that we don’t get to spend as much time together now.” Donghae sighed “But it’s alright! We still text each other as much as we can.” Donghae perked up

I gave him a small smile. If only he would look my way, I will do anything to spend as much time with him but he chose Jessica. I stayed at SJ’s dorm with Donghae for about an hour, before returning home to change my clothes.

We had a fun time. We joked around and even when the television was on, we didn’t pay attention to it.

I still can’t forget the words he told me before I left ‘Soon Ae-sshi, Jessica and I will be having dinner later and we were hoping that you would come, you would right?’

His eyes looked so pleading and hopeful that I couldn’t get myself to say no.

==
The dinner wasn’t that grand. It was just the three of us sitting in the floor at the room near the vending machine with lunchboxes. It was fun though.

Donghae fed me lots of times, though I really don’t remember him feeding Jessica. To be honest, Jessica seemed to be quiet the whole time. No, he must have fed her, I just missed it. Yeah.

I put my chin on my hands as I thought of what happened earlier. Unknowingly, a smile came to my face.

“You seem happy.” Kibum popped in

“I am.” I sighed dreamily

“Everyone does become happy once they think of me.” Kibum stood beside me

I snorted “You? What makes you think I’m thinking about you?”

“Who wouldn’t?” Kibum replied smugly

I rolled my eyes and smiled “Whatever. I won’t let you ruin my mood.”

All of a sudden music drafted into the room, we weren’t surprised since the next room to us had this grand piano. Probably just some trainee practicing but it did catch our attention. It had a soft and sweet melody with a hint of sorrow.

Kibum and I looked at each other and smiled awkwardly.

“I just remembered. We’re going to have a dance soon. Well, more like a party.” Kibum announced

“For what?”

“Nothing. It’s just an annual thing.”

I nodded my head.

“You could go with a date…” Kibum trailed off

A smile made its way to my face “Is this true? Is the mysterious and silent Kibum asking me out?”

“I—I, who said I was inviting you to become my date? I was just informing you that.” Kibum said

“Uh-huh, ok.” I nodded “ But if the thought ever comes to mind, it’s a yes. Who else would I go with anyway?”

I left the room and shut the door but I stopped when I heard a loud ‘yes!’ from inside. I laughed and went off.

==
The very next day, the members and I went shopping for some dresses and accessories. We played around a first, dressing in pieces that didn’t match or ridiculous outfits. I was browsing through a rack when I finally found the one.

It was almost exactly like the gown that Taylor Swift wore on her ‘love story’ music video. The one where she was in the balcony except it was a different color and a bit shorter.

“Wow, it’s pretty.” Regine said

The other members gathered around me. I took the gown off the rack and went into one of the dressing rooms. When I came out, all the girls looked at me with awe.

“Soon Ae, you’re so beautiful!” Jesselyn jumped up and down

“The cloth is so smooth and soft!” Vian smiled

After I had chosen my clothes, I helped out the other girls find their dresses. We would all look like princesses in the dance with matching accessories.

Sadly, I had a schedule right before the dance while the other girls were free so I had no choice but to be late.

Wearing my heels and gown and forgetting all about poise and sophistication, I ran towards the room where the dance was gonna be held. Surprisingly, it was also the same the room that I slept in together with the other SMtown artists.

I came to a stop just before the door. I took a deep breath, checked myself in my compact mirror then opened the doors….

Just a Friend 20

2009-09-05T01:29:00.000-07:00

Chapter 20
A glum Donghae opened the door but when he looked to see who it was, a smile lit up his face.
“Jessica.” Donghae said before pulling Jessica into his arms and hugging her tightly
While me? I was in a corner watching the events. I turned away and tears started to flow from my eyes. Why was I even crying? When I was the reason this was happening? But I couldn’t help it, I couldn’t.
==
I didn’t stay too long. I started to take a walk even when it was raining. In some strange way, the rain actually comforted me. Like, someone up there knew what I was feeling. I entered the dorm and as usual, the other members panicked. I can’t blame them though, I was drenched in water.
Suddenly, I felt weak and would have fallen on the floor if someone hasn’t caught me.
“I’m tired.” Those were the last words I spoke before darkness came over me
==
I woke up and looked around, my eyes were still a bit misty. My eyes stopped by the window, there was a familiar figure there.
“Who are you?” I asked
That figure turned around but before I could get a good view of him, I started to feel sleepy and fell asleep instantly.
==
I woke up again in the middle of the night. The other members were gathered in the room, talking about me.
I smiled “Are you guys…backstabbing me?” I joked
They stopped talking and headed to me.
“Soon Ae, are you feeling ok?” Regine asked
I nodded my head “My head…uh, I feel kinda dizzy, that’s all.”
I saw the sorry looks of my members “Soon Ae..” Jesselyn started
“Do we have some food? I’m hungry.” I abruptly changed the topic
“I’m going to cook some ramen for you.” Vian headed out the kitchen
I smiled at the other members “I’m alright. Don’t worry about me.”
==
The next day at SM building. During the break, the girls rested as usual. I quietly left the room and went to the room near the vending machine. I opened the door and saw an image of Donghae and I during our first meeting.
I smiled at the thought.
“What are you doing here?”
I was too accustomed with Kibum’s sudden appearances that it didn’t surprise my anymore.
==
“You know, I’m jealous of you.” I said
Kibum stared at me. He didn’t need to ask, I already knew what he was thinking.
“The way you just appear and disappear anytime you want. I wish I could do that.” I sighed
“You… when you say it like that, it seems like I’m a ghost or something.” Kibum replied
I burst into laughter that quickly faded away “Can I ask for a favor?”
“What is it?”
“Could you hold me?” I turned to look at Kibum and hugged him. I started to cry.
==
I walked along as I remembered Kibum’s words.
‘Soon Ae , do you know why there are ghosts?”
‘They’re used to scare people, why?” I answered confidently
Kibum laughed and my confidence sank with the Titanic.
‘Ghosts were once people too. People who laugh and smile but also get hurt and cry. Even after they die, nothing gets changed that much. Just like when they were alive, they still smile and they still cry. The reason why there are ghosts is because these people died with things still left undone and words unsaid.’
‘I don’t get it’
Kibum smiled ‘What I’m trying to say is, you can never run and escape from your problems. Even if you died, you can’t say you’re entirely happy because like I said before there are things left undone and words unsaid.’
Just then my phone rang.
“Yobosaeyo?”
“Soon Ae! I have good news for you!” An excited met me
“Soon Ae, could we meet?”
“Now?”
==
“Oppa!” I called out
Donghae turned around with a huge smile on his face. He ran towards me and hugged me tightly.
“Soon Ae, Soon Ae, we’re together again. Jessica and I.”
“Really? That’s great.”
Donghae stepped away from me “You don’t sound too happy.”
I forced a smile “No, I’m happy. I really am. Listen, I have to go. Schedule. It was nice seeing you.”

Just a Friend 19

2009-09-05T01:25:00.000-07:00

Chapter 19

I looked up to the sky decorated with stars. As usual, it was a beautiful night and I was feeling, well, not that good. I have to do something for Donghae, to make him smile again but how?

“Soon Ae, aren’t you going to sleep yet?” Vian asked

“I’m coming.” I closed the curtains and went to bed

==
Early morning and the sound of my phone ringing woke me up. I took my cellphone from the table and stared at it. Leeteuk oppa?

“Yobosaeyo, what? Why? Fine, fine. I’m going.”

I quickly dressed up and stuck a note to the refrigerator, leaving for SJ’s dorm at once.

==
The door opened revealing Leeteuk.

“Oppa..” I was about to question him why I had to rush here early in the morning but he quickly grabbed me and ushered me inside.

I was surprised to see the whole of Super Junior looking at me. I greeted them and turned to Leeteuk.

“What’s going on?”

“It’s Donghae.” Leeteuk said

I immediately straightened up “What happened?”

==
“Oppa, oppa. Open up.” I knocked on the door “Oppa, it’s me, Soon Ae.”

The door opened by an inch.

“Oppa?”

Donghae grabbed me and pulled me in. What is it with people grabbing and dragging me everywhere?! But now’s really not the time to think about that. Donghae walked away from me and sat on his bed.

“Oppa, would you mind telling me what’s the problem? Or do I have to guess?” I followed and sat beside him

Donghae sighed. He took something out from under his pillow and handed it to me. It was a picture of him with Jessica.

“Oh.” I looked at the picture, they really seemed happy together.

“I tried to get back with her last night but she didn’t want to.” Donghae said

I went nearer to him and gave him a hug. “I want to say ‘It’s ok’ but it would be pretty stupid if I did because it’s obviously not.”

Donghae started to cry as he held unto me. Tears dropped from my own eyes and I wiped them away.

==
“Soon Ae? What are you doing here?” Surprise was evident in Jessica’s face

==
“Do you want something to drink? The other girls aren’t here, I’m the only one left.” Jessica informed

I sat on her couch and shook my head. Jessica took a biscuit from a can and bit it, she handed me the can and right in time, my stomach growled. I realized I didn’t have breakfast this morning.

“Lucky for you, I just made breakfast and I think its more than enough for two.” Jessica smiled

I smiled sourly. From what I’ve heard, Jessica’s cooking skills are bad. Still, beggars can’t be choosers so I ate with her and to be honest, it wasn’t that bad. A little too many but not bad at all.

After eating breakfast, we went back to the agenda on why I made a sudden appearance in SoShi’s dorm.

“Unnie, I..” I stopped and sighed, how was I going to say this?

“Go on. Just say it.” Jessica encouraged

“Even though I’m not in the position to say it, unnie, please get back with Donghae oppa.”

“What?” Jessica dropped the cup she was holding

Just a Friend 18

2009-09-05T01:18:00.000-07:00

Chapter 18

"You're a good friend..."

I walked home. Is Jessica smart or I’m just a bad liar?

FLASHBACK

"The main character's name isn't Soon Ae by any chance, right?" Jessica put her hands together and put it under her chin, a smile on her face.

“M-me?” I pointed to myself

“Mm-mm.” Jessica nodded

“Unnie, what are you talking about? There’s no one-sided love going on.” I grabbed a biscuit and bit into it

“Ya, lying is a sin too you know. Do you want to go to hell?”

I choked on my biscuit and started to cough.

“Omo, here drink some water. Sorry. I shouldn’t have said that while you were eating.”

“It’s fine unnie, no big deal.”

“So…whose the lucky guy?” Her smile returned

I silenced. I really couldn’t tell her that the one I like is her boyfriend, she would totally freak. I could just imagine myself saying ‘The one I like is Donghae oppa and I really want to steal him from you.’

“Just…someone back at home.” I answered

“Really? I thought he would be also an artist.” Jessica gave me a knowing smile

END OF FLASHBACK

Does she know? No, she probably doesn’t. If she did, she would have told me. I looked up and was surprised to see that I’ve already arrived home.

My phone started to ring. Donghae oppa? Why is he calling now?

“Oppa, what is it?”

“Soon Ae-sshi, I…she…we…”

“O-oppa? Oppa!”

He hang up. Something is seriously wrong, I heard him crying. I ran to SJ dorm.

==
“Oh, Soon Ae-sshi, it’s nice to see you.” Leeteuk smiled

“Annyeong-hasaeyo oppa.” I bowed down

“Come in, come in.” Leeteuk ushered me inside

“Do you want something to drink? Juice? Coffee? Milk? Soda?”

“Uh…that’s alright.” I smiled “Oppa, is Donghae oppa here?”

“Ah, so that’s why you came here?” Leeteuk gave me a knowing smile

I nodded my head

“He isn’t. Earlier, when we were about to go home, he said he wanted to stay and practice more.”

“Thank you oppa.”

I rushed to the door only to bump into Kyuhyun.

“Oppa, sorry.”

I ran out of the door. I really hope he’s at the building. I arrived at the SM building, asked people if they saw him and searched the rooms but it was useless, he wasn’t there. Oppa, where are you?

==
I stopped running when I finally saw a familiar figure in front of me. That backview, I would know that anywhere.

“Oppa..” I laid a hand on his shoulder

Donghae faced me and I saw tears in his eyes “Oppa…”

Donghae pulled me into a hug tight and started to cry on my shoulder.

“Oppa.” I closed my eyes and hugged him back

==
“How did you know I was gonna be here?”

“I didn’t. But I remember your name, Donghae, which means east sea so I figured you’d probably like the water.” I explained

Donghae turned and smiled at me “Thank you for finding me.”

“Oppa, we’re friends right? That’s what friends do.”

Donghae looked away as his smile faded.

“Oppa, what exactly happened?”

“Jessica…broke up with me.”

“What?” My eyes turned huge “Why?”

“I don’t even know. She just suddenly called and said that she wanted to break-up.”

“I’m sorry.”

My heart hurts seeing him like this but I can’t cry in front of him. I have to be strong.

“What are you sorry about? It’s not like you’re the one who broke up with me.” Donghae ruffled my hair “Why didn’t I fall in love with someone like you?”

Yeah. Why didn’t you?

“Oppa, stop joking around.” I turned to face the water

Donghae smiled “Who said I was joking?”

“Stop it or I’m leaving.” I frowned

“You wouldn’t do that.”

“Who said I won’t?”

“Me.” Donghae answered smugly

If only I didn’t love him.

“But…“Soon Ae-sshi.” He said as he put his hand on mine

I looked at him

“You would never really leave me right?” His voice seemed broken and his eyes were teary-eyed

“As long as you want me to stay by your side, I would never leave you.” I told him

He smiled at me “You’re a good friend.” He said as he squeezed my hand

"I forced myself to smile at him. Yeah friend.

Just a Friend 17

2009-09-05T01:12:00.000-07:00

Chapter 17

The sound of my plastic bag dropping on the floor broke Jessica and Donghae apart. Both of them looked at me in shock.

My eyes brimmed with tears and I looked away “I- I’m sorry. I didn’t think anyone was here.”

I left the room.

“Soon Ae-sshi!”

Donghae called my name but I didn’t dare turn around. When I heard footsteps behind me, I started to run.

“Soon Ae-sshi! Wait!” Donghae finally caught up with me. He grabbed my arms and turned me around “You- you’re crying.”

“No oppa, I’m not. Something just got into my eye.” I forced a smile “Don’t worry I won’t tell anyone what I saw.”

I took his hands off me and walked away. Tears flowed down my face no matter how much I tried to stop them. I decided to go in a vacant practice room and cry my heart out.

“See? I was right, wasn’t I?”

I looked up and saw Kibum leaning on the door “Leave me alone.”

“Ya, what kind of guy do you think I am? How can I leave a girl crying like this?”

He walked towards me and handed his handkerchief “Here use it.”

My eyes traveled to the handkerchief

“Don’t worry.I didn’t use it if that’s what you’re thinking, take it.”

I stared back at him. Kibum sighed and kneeled down in one knee, wiping my tears in the process. After that, he put his hand on my head.

“Don’t cry anymore, ok?”

==
I sipped my coffee and sighed, forming clouds. The sun was rising and I was at a café with Kibum.

“How is it?” Kibum asked

“It’s delicious.” I answered
“You should go home.”

“What?”

Kibum took my coffee “C’mon, I’ll take you home.”

He grabbed me by the wrist.

==
We arrived at my apartment and I stared at it. I wonder what the girls’ reactions will be? They would probably shout at me.

“What? Are you waiting for me to open the door?”

“No.” I answered and opened the door. “Bye I stepped out of the car and walked towards the apartment.

I stopped walking and returned to the car. Kibum rolled down the windows “Did you forget something?”

“Yes, I forgot to say thank you.” I smiled, Kibum smiled back “Drive safely.” I said before walking back to the apartment

“Ya!” Kibum called out “Make sure that when you give me back my handkerchief, it’s nice and clean! It’s expensive you know!”

I rolled my eyes and continued walking.

==
As soon as I stepped into the dorm, the girls (and manager) clustered around me.

“Are you alright?”

“Have you eaten yet?”

“Where’d you go?!”

“Ya! Do you know how worried we where?!”

“I’m alright.” I answered with a smile “I’m gonna go take a shower.”

The members and manager stared at me, dumbfounded.

While taking a shower, the scene that I wasn’t supposed to see came flashing back. Why couldn’t have I found out about it sooner? Then I wouldn’t have fallen for him more.

==
“So how long have you two been dating?” I asked

“Quite awhile. Ever since the rumors exploded.” Donghae answered

“Rumors? What rumors?”

“The pictures of us kissing.”

“So.th-they were true?” I grasped the bar

Donghae smiled “No, they weren’t. Before that we had an oppa-dongsaeng relationship just like ours but I’ve always secretly liked her.

FLASHBACK

Donghae entered one of the practice rooms to see Jessica on the floor, crying. Donghae hurriedly went up to her.

“Sica, what’s wrong?”

“Oppa, look at this.” Jessica handed over the pictures

“Who are they?” Donghae asked as he looked through the pictures

“They’re supposed to be us.” Jessica sniffed

Donghae looked at her “What?”

“Oppa, do you know that because of those pictures, I already have anti-fans? And I haven’t even debut yet!” Jessica started to cry more

Donghae threw the pictures and held Jessica in her arms “Jessica, don’t cry. Oppa is here, oppa will protect you.”

Jessica looked up “Oppa, thank you.”

Donghae didn’t answer and instead leaned down on Jessica. Their lips met.

END OF FLASHBACK

I can’t believe it. Those stupid antis. They were the ones who brought Donghae and Jessica together. Actually, when I think about it, those antis also brought Donghae and me closer. This is so annoying.

==
My relationship with Donghae didn’t change. Still the same as before, we would spend time with each other, but this time it wasn’t just the two of us. Jessica was around more.

To be honest, even though I want to hate Jessica, I couldn’t. Despite her cold features, she was really nice and friendly and it was clear that she was really trying to be friends with me.

I’m not surprised why Donghae fell for her. She has everything. Looks, talent and personality. Jessica is perfect.

“Does our maknae have a problem?”

I popped out from my thoughts and saw Jessica beside me. When did she get here? She looked at me and smiled.

“You can tell me about it.”

I sighed and leaned back “Unnie, do you know how it is to love someone that loves someone else?”

Jessica frowned “One-sided love?No, not really.”

I looked at her. Really?

Jessica laughed “Of course I have. I think everyone’s felt it in some point of their lives, why did you ask? Is that what’s happening to you?”

I put on a smile “No, of course not. It’s the plot of the drama I’m watching now.”

“Really? What’s the title of the drama?” Jessica asked

“Uh…title? Title..uh..”

“Soon Ae, I heard your Korean wasn’t that good. Title is ‘title’ in English.” Jessica explained

Of course I know what title is, I’m not an idiot. Still, I smiled

“Really? Thank you for explaining.”

“Want to go for something to drink?”

“Eh?” I looked at Jessica. She smiled and hooked my arm with hers “Let’s go.”

Jessica dragged me away “You can tell me all about the drama on our way to the café.”

“Uh..right.”

==
I sipped my drink.

"How is it?"

"It's delicious unnie, thank you for bringing me here."

Jessica smiled "So about the drama..."

Dang! I thought she's forgotten about it.

"The main character's name isn't Soon Ae by any chance, right?" Jessica put her hands together and put it under her chin, a smile on her face.

Just a Friend 16

2009-09-05T01:09:00.000-07:00

Chapter 16

Discovery

The girls and I were on our way home after the performance.

“Uh-huh, listen boy, my first love story.”

“My Angel and my girls, my sunshine, uh, uh, let’s go!”

Yup, the girls and I were singing Girls Generations’ Gee but we changed some of the lyrics like to ‘I can’t believe we’re not gonna practice’ and stuff like that. It has been awhile that we’ve been this energetic on our way home.

Still, no matter how energetic we were at the car, the girls were still dead tired and they dozed off almost immediately. Not me though. How could I sleep when Donghae keeps on invading my mind?

I left the room and went into the living room, the note in hand. I sat near the window and opened up the curtains. It was a starry night and there was a cool breeze. It was a perfect weather.

‘we should celebrate some time’

The note made its way into my thoughts. I have nothing else to do this early in the morning and besides I’m quite sure they’re at SM building.

I brought some food and drinks from the convenience store that was open 24 hours nearby and called the manager.

“Oppa, sorry for waking you up this early but by any chance, could you give me a ride to the company building?”

==
“What is this thing that’s so important that can’t wait for tomorrow?” The manager complained

We were on our way to SM building

“Oppa, I told you. It’s a girl thing.”

“Seriously, kids these days. If only it wasn’t dangerous for young girls like you to go out this hour I would..”

“Oppa! You’re not suggesting you would let me go walk on the streets by myself at this time!”

“Of course I wouldn’t. I’m your manager, I wouldn’t let anything bad happen to you.”

“That’s why G.A.L loves you much oppa!”
==

I waved goodbye to the manager as he drove off. I entered the SM building and stopped at the desk.

“Unnie, do you know which practice room Super Junior sunbaenims are using?” I asked the girl behind the desk

“They’re vacating the room you girls usually use.”

“Oh ok, thank you.”

I entered the room quietly as a mouse. The SJ members were practicing and I didn’t want to bother them.

“What are you doing here?”

I literally jumped.

‘Ya! Why are you always sneaking around like that?! You’re going to give me a heart attack someday!’

Those were the words I wanted to say but it would be disrespectful so instead I glared at Kibum.

“I’m watching the practice.” I answered

“Why are you always glaring at me? Do you hate me that much?”

I don’t know why but the questions made me smile “No, not really.”

“If you’re looking for Donghae hyung he’s not here, he’s at that room near the vending machine.”

“Thanks.”

Kibum started at the plastic bag I was holding “Can I have those chips?”

Seriously, this guy…but it won’t hurt if I gave him one. I took out the chips and handed it to him. Kibum smiled and thanked me.

“Soon Ae, annyeong!” Kangin called out

I smiled and bowed down. The others also said hi. Before they could also ask for food, I said goodbye and left.

Donghae is in that room again? Why does he like that room so much? I should ask him some time.

I stood before the door and took out my mirror. I look fine. Aish. Why do I feel so nervous? I took a few deep breaths, put a smile on my face and opened the door. What greeted me though was something I wasn’t prepared for.

It was Donghae and Jessica sharing a kiss.

Just a Friend 15

2009-09-05T01:04:00.000-07:00

Chapter 15

Back to Normal

A lot of people were awed with my straightforward manner that right after the filming finished, everyone applauded me, telling I did a great job telling those antis whose boss.

I stayed true to my word and G.A.L and I worked harder, improving day by day. There was a huge difference after that, we went from one of the most hated girl groups to one of the most-loved. Sure, we still had anti-fans but they lessened.

It didn’t take long for the scandal to be forgotten and I was called in once more to LMS’s office.

“Everyone was surprised by your statement in one of that shows.” LMS started “And because of that I’m proud of you.”

“What?”

Lee Soo Man smiled “Not a lot of people have the guts to go and tell what they really feel about anti-fans, especially idols. That was a risky but brave move. You’ve proved to me that I was right when I decided to debut G.A.L”

I smiled happily “Thank you so much.”

Lee Soo Man did a little nod. I bowed down and was about to leave the room.

“And by the way, your ban from Donghae is lifted.”

I swiftly turned around “Really?”

Lee Soo Man nodded “I would like to say sorry about that. It was wrong of me to try and break your friendship.”

Actually, he didn’t need to apologize at all. I understand that he was only trying to save my career.

==
I left the office and picked up my phone. Should I call oppa? But he’s probably busy. I’ll see him later.

I rushed to where the other girls are and told them the good news. At first, they stared at me, my words still undigested but when it was finally digested in their minds, we started to jump up and down in a circle.

The manager entered and broke our little celebration.

“Girls, you still have schedules, you know.”

“We know oppa.” We chorused
“But because you girls have been doing so good lately, it was decided that your rehearsal for later is cancelled.”

We ran towards the manager and did a group hug “Gamsahamnida oppa!”

==
The next schedule I had was Star Golden Bell. It was like an idol special. Each idol group had a representative or so. Super Junior’s representative was Siwon, SNSD’s representative was Tiffany, 2PM’s was Nick Khun, SHinee’s was Taemin and etc.

“The girl who always seems to make headlines whether it be a broken leg or a strong statement, Soon Ae from G.A.L!”

I smiled and bowed, clapping along with everyone else.

“Soon Ae-sshi, you have gained the nicknames ‘saviour’, ‘angel’, ‘brave soldier’ and so on, how do you feel about it?”

“To be honest, I am very honored and happy but sometimes I think ‘do I even deserve all these praise?’ when all I did was speak my mind.” I answered

“You’re modest too.” Kim Jaedong cut in

“Kim Jaedong, please don’t drool.”

The set burst in laughter.

==
The filming finally ended. I said my thank yous and goodbyes.

“Soon Ae-sshi.”

I turned around and saw Siwon oppa.

“Ne oppa?”

“Donghae told me to give this to you.” Siwon said in a whisper and slipped a piece of paper into my hand “Good job.” Siwon returned to his normal voice and gave me a pat on the head

“Thank you oppa.”

==
I waited until I had entered the safe premises of the van before opening the letter and reading it.

“Soon Ae-sshi, oppa is sorry he can’t say this in person. You forgive oppa right?^^ Oppa would just like to tell you how happy and proud he is for you. Keep up the good work! We should celebrate some time!”

I folded the note and smiled. It was the only thing I can do not to go and squeal in the car. Manager oppa looked into the mirror and saw me smiling.

“You seem happy.”

I smiled wider “I am.”

==
I arrived at MBC studios and headed towards G.A.L’s dressing room immediately. I was about to squeal in delight when I saw Tiffany and Yuri there.

They greeted me happily.

“Way to go telling it straight to those antis!” Tiffany cheered

“Soon Ae jjang!” Yuri added

The 6 of us chatted happily until it was time for the make-up and changing. They said goodbye and left the room.

We performed our new song on MBC music core.

Even though Super Junior were also there, we really didn’t get to talk much to each other since our standing positions were far. We only said our greetings but Donghae and I did catch each others’ eyes and we smiled.

Just a Friend 14

2009-09-05T00:51:00.000-07:00

Chapter 14

Confrontation

I sighed and another thing, the music video for the SMtown was cancelled but we will still be releasing an album since we’ve finished recording exactly. My mind drifted off to the incident earlier once more.

The way Donghae looked so uncomfortable when he left, the sadness that I felt from him even when we didn’t make contact but most of all, the last words Lee Soo Man said.

‘You need to stay away from Donghae.’

Another sigh escaped my lips and I started to get teary-eyed as I fingered the pendant and bit my lip. If I chose to disobey Lee Soo Man and continue to get closer to Donghae, not only me but the whole group would suffer from antis but if I chose to obey Lee Soo Man, there is a possibility I might lose Donghae forever.

My cell phone rang and I popped out of my thoughts.

“Hello?”

“Soon Ae-sshi, please don’t cry.”

I took the phone away from my ear and turned around. Donghae oppa. He put his own phone back in his pocket and proceeded to hug me.

“Don’t worry, we don’t have to stay away from each other forever, as soon as this whole scandal blows out we could just get back to how we used to be and besides as long as there are no other people around, we still could talk to each other.”

Donghae stopped hugging me and looked into my eyes “Soon Ae fighting!”

I smiled but my eyes brimmed with tears “Donghae oppa fighting!”

==
I arrived home and turned on the computer. There I found an email from my mom. I suddenly missed her. There was no one else in the house right now, since the members had schedules.

I composed a small message that seemed to be full of happiness. I clicked the sent button. I can’t even use my phone since it was confiscated by my manager. Tears started to fall from my eyes.

==
A few days later, it was announced that we were going to prepare for our first album and that we were going to go in a small hiatus for the preparation. This was actually a good thing. Not only was I going to be busy with work but I would also be away from the public eye for some time.

But then, even though I was busy the pain didn’t subside. I would temporarily forget about it when I was doing something but when we were back at home, especially at night, my tears would start flowing.

==
One day, the members went online. From my and Vian’s room I heard their laughter and giggles but when it suddenly stopped. I sensed something wrong and went out of my room.

“Why did you guys quiet down?” I asked

Regine quickly covered the monitor. “Nothing.”

“We were looking at porn! Because you’re the maknae, you can’t watch!” Jesselyn told me

“Yeah. It’s way disgusting.” Vian nodded

I rolled my eyes “You really think I’d believe that you guys would use your free time to watch porn? Let me see the monitor.”

“But..”

“Let me see!” I demanded

Regine looked down and stood up. I sat on the chair and faced the monitor with a smirk but my smirk faded as soon as I saw what they were hiding from me.

‘That Soon Ae is a sl*t! I bet she’s just obsessed Donghae and went to find a necklace that was same as his.’

‘I used to think that she were pure and innocent but I was wrong, she’s a total b!tch!’

‘I heard she seduced Donghae, ew!

‘I’ve hated G.A.L since their debut especially that Soon Ae!’

‘She’s not even pretty, it’s just plastic surgery.’

‘ A VERY reliable source told me that as soon as the rumors exploded, she went and blamed Donghae all because of it!’

‘Really?! She did that?! Oh my GOD! I knew she was retard but how dare she blame my Donghae oppa!’

‘Who told her to wear that necklace on a public event anyway?! Not only is she f*cking ugly and talentless but she also has no brains!’

And the worst..

‘I used to like them but my friend told me about the scandal and what she did to Donghae after that, I’m really disappointed. I can’t believe she would so something like that.’

The last sentence didn’t contain any bad or insulting words but finding out it came from an ex-fan made it hurt the most. We’re already gaining anti-fans, are we also losing fans?

==
After 3 months of hiatus, G.A.L was ready to perform once again. I put on a smile and performed my best on stage. Hitting the notes and not making a single mistake with the dance steps.

Super Junior was right next after our performance so it was unavoidable not to meet backstage. They complimented us and told that we’ve really improved. We smiled and said our thanks.

Accidentally, I met Donghae’s eyes. I forced a smile and gave him a little bow then looked away.

==
“Could we leave now?” I asked

“Of course we can’t, We have to be present for the announcement of the best artist this week.” Our manager said

“Oppa, I’m not feeling too good.” I lied

“Why? You have a fever?”

“No, stomachache. I probably ate something I shouldn’t.” I frowned

The manager let me go. Another manager drove me back home.

==
The next day, I received some feedback.

The fans said that ‘they were happy to see G.A.L back and most especially happy for me because I seemed happy.’

And the anti-fans?

‘Aish! And I’ve thought we’ve gotten rid of them! They’ve gotten uglier and their even more talentless. I don’t know what SM was thinking when he decided to debut these girls.

==
I kept my anger and hurt inside but one day on a show. A host decided to ask about the antis.

“From what I’ve heard, we’re the most hated girl group right now and I was the hated member. To be honest, I’m sick and tired of the antis so I decided to just ignore them and concentrate on my work but lately not only are they hating me but they’re hating the group as a whole and that’s something I really can’t stand.”

“You seem to have a lot to say to them, now is your chance.”

I turned to the camera “I know the reasons why you hate me but are you sure that your reasons are true?! I would let you all know right now, Donghae oppa and I were never together and I would never do the things you said I did. You guys are judging me without even knowing me and worse spreading false rumors, how would you like it if others did the same to you? You wouldn’t like it right? I’m not asking for a second chance nor am I forcing you to like us but at least respect us. Like you, we are also human beings who get hurt and cry and we really don’t deserve all the hate. We’ve worked hard to reach where we are….”

I turned away from the camera for a little while as I wiped my tears “You’re only wasting your time trying to ruin us, well guess what, G.A.L will work harder to show you guys that you’re wrong and if you’re hoping we would disband soon them I’m sorry because the thought never even crossed our minds.”

Just a Friend 13

2009-09-05T00:46:00.000-07:00

Chapter 13

“I’m free!” I waved my arms around

So I looked stupid but I didn’t really care. Only my members and manager was there.

:” I believe I can fly!
I believe I can touch the sky..!”

“You probably need to walk first before flying.” I stopped singing and frowned as I saw Kibum leaning on the wall with that smug smile.

“Annyeong-hasaeyo oppa.” My members greeted

Kibum stood up straight, smiled and bowed back.

“We’re going to go.” Regine mouthed and pointed out the door

“Annyeong-higyeseyo.” They said their goodbyes

Kibum bowed.

Once the door closed, Kibum turned to me.

“They’re really amusing.”

“Uh-huh.” I nodded my head

Kibum suddenly frowned and started to walk towards me. He stopped right beside my bed and leaned towards me.

“Why?”

Kibum didn’t answer and instead, picked up my necklace and inspected it. I naturally whisked his hand away and held my necklace protectively.

Kibum smiled and stood up straight “That’s Donghae’s, am I right?’

“That’s none of your business.” I answered

“Of course it’s my business, who told you to go around and steal my members’ belongings?!”

“What are you talking about?! Donghae oppa willingly gave this to me!”

Kibum smiled “Gotcha!” He did a pointing pose with a wink

“What are you talking about?”
“You just admitted that the necklace you are wearing is from Donghae.”

I glared at him.
==
It was right back to work after my leg was fully healed. The first thing I didn’t do was a performance but it was attending an event. Everyone was surprised by my sudden appearance. That day I went for the mature concept with a black mini dress and of course with Donghae’s necklace.

I smiled and waved at the cameras surrounding me. I was a bit nervous because it was the first time my members weren’t there with me.

“Soon Ae-sshi, could we ask you a few questions?” The reporters right before the door asked

I smiled and nodded.

“It seems your leg is fully healed.”

“Yes, it is.” I laughed and wiggled my leg a bit to show that it was fine

==
Regine turned on the TV.

“Soon Ae! You’re on tv!” Regine called

We all gathered in the living room and watched the news report.

“Last night, G.A.L’s member, Soon Ae made an unexpected appearance at the fashion show and surprised everyone .Just last week, it was reported that she injured her leg but now she’s back and everyone, especially her fans, are very happy about it.She was wearing a simple but fashionable black mini dress that showed off her long and lean legs. She smiled and waved happily at the camera, giving off the message that she was happy to be back. A lot of people have also commented how much healthier and prettier she looks.”

As the news anchor said those words, a video of me in the said event was showed.

“But the thing that really caught the citizens’ eyes was the necklace that she was wearing. It’s still not confirmed but a lot of people are saying how her necklace looks like the one that Super Junior’s Donghae was using when they were still promoting ‘U’ and now rumors are flying that Donghae gave the necklace to her and are dating.”

Regine turned off the TV and the members stared at me.

“Why are you looking at me like that?”

“Tell us the truth. That necklace, where’d you get it?” Vian demanded
It was the first time I saw her this serious.

“Donghae oppa gave it to me.” I admitted

“Why didn’t you tell us sooner?!” Jesselyn raised her voice

“I’m sorry---“

“Then we could have fangirl it sooner!”

Eh? I looked up and saw the three of them jumping around, giggling and squealing.

I smiled. Are they really older than me?

“But..” I frowned

They stopped jumping around and looked at me “But what?”

“Anti-fans.” I murmured

==
I walked the hallways of the company. It was much more quieter during the day than the night. I stopped and looked out the window. It was snowing. Shouldn’t I be happy? But why do I feel so glum?

FLASHBACK (A few hours ago)

I entered one of the rooms inside the SM ENT. building. I saw Donghae with Super Junior’s manager. Something didn’t feel right. Donghae didn’t even look at me. He just went and left with his manager. That’s when I noticed who was sitting behind the desk, Lee Soo Man himself.

“You probably know about your scandal with Donghae. Do you know about the scandals of Jessica and Taeyeon from SNSD?”

I nodded.

“So you also know what happened after the scandal exploded.”

I nodded again.

“We don’t want history to repeat itself so as of now, you need to stay away from Donghae.”

My head snapped up and I looked at Lee Soo Man in shock.

----

Just a Friend 12

2009-09-05T00:39:00.000-07:00

Chapter 12

Kiss?

I opened my eyes and all I saw was whiteness. Omo! Is this heaven? But I realized later that I was only looking up at the hospital ceiling. I sighed in relief.

That’s when I noticed my surroundings. I sat up and saw the SMtown family, crowded into the small hospital room, they were all fast asleep. I was touched but also overcame with guilt.All because of my clumsiness, the filming was ruined.

My members woke up first and they rushed to me. Even though it was obvious I was fine, they continued to question me. They were so loud that others woke up and they had the same reaction as my members.

There were so many questions that I couldn’t answer one of them. Out of all of them, Heechul was the most exaggerated, talking about head injuries, mental illnesses and so on.

We all stared at him as he went on and on and on. Finally, Hankyung tapped him on the shoulder.

“She hit her leg not her head.” He said in his Chinese accent, he also did gestures like pointing to the leg and head.

“Really?” Heechul imitated Hankyung’s accent

“Ah. Really~ You’re making fun of me again.”

They started to argue while Kangin and Leeteuk was trying to stop them. Yesung was narrating the situation to himself.

Siwon was talking about something like “This is GOD’s world. GOD wouldn’t be happy if there are fights.” while Donghae was telling him not to talk about those things because of Heechul.

Siwon was stubborn about it and the two of them also started to argue. So it was a double task for Kangin and Leeteuk who were trying to stop the four guys arguing.

Tiffany was asking the her members what was happening, Jessica was having a slow reaction moment as she looked around The others ones who were just quiet were Shinee, and the rest of Super Junior and SoShi.

The sunbaes like BoA, DBSK, ZLY and CSJH were just hanging back and chatting while my members were talking about me like I wasn’t there.Overall, if I could describe the situation with only one word: it would be chaotic.

I looked around and started to laugh. In an instant, everyone stopped whatever they were doing and looked at me. I could care less about them staring at me like I was crazy, all I cared about was how funny the situation seemed.

You know how they say laughter is contagious? Well, it didn’t take long for others to laugh along with me.
==
One by one, everyone left because of their own schedules. I received the diagnosis of my leg right after they left. My leg had a minor injury and I needed to wear a cast but only for one week then I could go back to my old life but I still had to spend 3 days in the hospital.

The first and second days weren’t exactly exciting but they were fine. I received gifts from fans and friends and also had visitors 24/7.

On the 3rd day, Super Junior (besides from Kibum) and my members came to a visit. The others weren’t able to make it due to schedules but they did send me some greetings so it’s alright and besides I’ve bothered them enough already.

Would it be wrong if I said that I was actually glad Kibum wasn’t there? Our last conversation wasn’t exactly something I’d like to store in mind.

“Look at the publicity she’s getting just because of a broken leg. For the past few days, she’s been all over the TV and newspapers.” Heechul said, inspecting a newspaper “Maybe I should break my leg too?”

“Heeeyyy! Don’t think about stuff like that!” We chorused

“GOD doesn’t want any of his children to feel pain.” Siwon said with his hands together

“Aish, I’m going crazy.” Heechul remarked

We laughed.

“Soon Ae, have you already said thank you to Donghae?” Vian whispered

“No, I haven’t got the chance yet.” I whispered back

“Well now’s your chance.” Vian smiled

What?

“Who wants to get some food?” Vian called out

“Me!” Everyone except Donghae and I raised their hands

I smiled. I should have known they would do something like this.

“Donghae, take care of Soon Ae while we’re gone, ok?” Kangin slapped the back of Donghae and gave me a little wink.

On the way out, Heechul started to sing a song about two people falling in love, exaggeratedly I might add.

“Get out of here!” Donghae laughed and pushed Heechul

Everyone left and there was this unsettling silence in the room. I thought we’re already gotten through the awkward phase?

“Uhmm..so how’s your leg?” Donghae broke the silence

“Well I don’t feel any pain, so I guess it’s fine.” I flashed a smile

“That’s good then.” Donghae stood up and went over to me

“Yeah, good.” I nodded

Then we just stared at each other, smiling. I looked away.

“Uh…thanks by the way.” I fidgeted with my blanket

“Thanks for what?” Now he was right beside my bed

“You know, for catching me.” I gave him a glance

“Ah.” Donghae laughed “Remember when I told you that I’d always be here when you needed me?”

I looked at him and nodded my head.

“Well I was just doing that, I’m a person who keeps his word you know.”

“I know.” I replied and we laughed

I bit my lip.

“I have something to give you.” Donghae smiled shyly

“Really?”

“Yeah. Here.” Donghae handed me a box

“This isn’t a wedding ring, is it?” I joked

“Just open it.” Donghae ruffled my hair

“TADA!” Donghae said as soon as I opened the box.

I stared at it. A necklace?

“You don’t like it?” Donghae asked

A smile slowly lighted my face “What are you talking about? Of course I like it! I’ve always liked it.”

“You’ve seen it before?” Donghae frowned

“Of course. You always wore it during the U days.” I smiled

Donghae smiled back “Right. You want me to help you wear it?”

I nodded and handed him back the box. He took the necklace from the box and leaned towards me as he put the necklace on me. After he locked it, he unintentionally looked into my eyes and his smile faded.We stared at each other.

“What are you two doing?!” Heechul shrieked

Donghae and I separated immediately “Nothing.” We answered

“You two…were you about to kiss?!” Eunhyuk eyes widened

“No!” Donghae and I frantically shook our heads

Leeteuk came from the back with his mouth hung open. He stared at Donghae and I, his hand going back and forth, after a few seconds he fainted

“Hyung!”

“Oppa!”

===

Just a Friend 11

2009-09-05T00:33:00.000-07:00

Chapter 11

Broken leg

As I came back to where everyone else was, I was met with the sight of once again HaeSica.

They were saying their goodbyes to each other. Well, Donghae was actually saying goodbye to everyone but I only noticed the part when it was with Jessica. He didn’t even say goodbye to me, he just went and left.

Well, it could have been related to the fact that I was hidden by a large wall but I would have expected for him to look for me. We’re friends, aren’t we?

“You like him, don’t you?”

I jumped a little. I didn’t even realize Kibum was already behind me. I swiftly turned around and face him.

“What are you talking about?” I said

“Donghae. You like him, don’t you?” Kibum gave me a self-satisfied smile

“I don’t know what you’re talking about!” I glared at him and turned to leave when he grabbed my wrist and whispered the words: You shouldn’t love him, you would only end up getting hurt.

I faced him one more time.

==
The girls and I were at the car, we were on our ride home. They were tired but they were still very happy that they got to spend time with others while I was in the backseat by myself as Kibum’s words rang through my mind.

‘You shouldn’t love him, you would only end up getting hurt.’

I watched the places we passed by slowly coming into a blur as I started to tear up.

“Soon Ae, are you alright?” Regine put her hand on my shoulder

The three of them gathered in the back seat and tried to comfort me as I continued to cry.

==
We arrived home and my tears were finally dry. Who could keep on crying when your members were trying to make you laugh? They didn’t ask me why I was crying, they just let me be.

Vian and I laid on our beds. Time passed by and I thought she has fallen asleep when she suddenly spoke.

“Is this about Donghae?”

I looked at her and smiled “How’d you know?”

“Well I remember you telling me, back when we weren’t even trainees yet, that whenever you imagined Donghae with someone else, you would feel so sad.” Vian recalled

I laughed as I remembered those days. Those days, Donghae felt like a dream. I never really imagined that I could be here and be friends with him.

Silence settled in the room as Vian and I were deep in our own thoughts, reminiscing about the past.

==
I woke up as the blinding rays of the sunlight struck me. I covered my eyes and sat up. I left the room just in time for Vian to set up the table.

“What’s our breakfast?” I asked as I plopped unto a chair

“Eggs.” Vian answered

Regine entered and Vian and I laughed. (One of Regine’s nicknames is egg)

“Why are you laughing?” Regine sat down on the chair across me and put her head on the table

We chose not to answer her because she immediately fell asleep. Then Jesselyn came out. She stared at Regine then raised her brow at me.

“Don’t ask.” I told her

Jesselyn took a seat and yawned. “I’m tired.”

“Me too.” I put my hand under my chin

Vian set down our food and I watched Jesselyn become energized “FOOD!”

“Huh? What?” Regine looked around

==
Today was the start of our shooting for the SMtown music video. The girls and I got ready then we headed on to the filming site. We were the last to arrive.

“Annyeong-hasaeyo.” We greeted

The sunbaes smiled and greeted back. We weren’t able to talk to them because almost immediately, we were rushed to make-up.

“Right now, we are at (put place here). Even though it’s cold, we’ll try our best!” I said to the cameras

Then behind me Donghae and Eunhyuk danced to ‘sorry, sorry.’

“Why are you promoting our song right now?” Leeteuk popped in and shook his head “Viewers, please make sure to support ‘sorry, sorry.’”

Then Leeteuk did the dance with Eunhyuk and Donghae. I walked away but Tiffany suddenly pushed me back.

“We’re really close.” Tiffany pointed to herself and I

“Yeah.” I nodded my head

“Hey, you guys are blocking us.” Eunhyuk jokingly complained

Tiffany and I stared at each other then “Sorry..sorry…sorry…sorry..”

We laughed and walked away.

==
The shooting started. At the first part, we didn’t have to do anything but to look like we’re having fun. Well that wasn’t really hard to do.

At least once, each one of us went right up to the camera and blocked the others.

“Yeah..yeah..yeah!” I made some hand gestures like a rapper

But Jesselyn went and pulled me away to have her own solo. At the background, I ran around, spraying fake snow at everyone. When I passed Donghae, he grabbed my wrist.

“You seem to be having fun.” Donghae smiled

“I am! Oppa, I never knew fake snow was so much fun to play with!” I threw some fake snow at him

“Hey!” He shouted and we started to chase each other as he tried to also throw some fake snow at me.

I suddenly came across something slippery and slipped. It didn’t help that Donghae was right behind me so it ended up with him above me.

Everyone stopped whatever they were doing and looked at us. I was staring right into Donghae’s eyes. How many times have I imagined this? Now the only thing that could make this perfect is a kiss but I guess that will only stay as a fantasy…

Donghae immediately stood up and apologized over and over again, even when he was helping me up, he continued to apologize.

“It’s fine oppa, it’s fine.” I smile

How could a grown man like him look so cute? Everyone rushed towards me and also asked if I was ok. I said was I fine, well that was I thought anyway, because as soon as I tried to walk, unbearable pain jolted my knee and I fell again but this time Donghae caught me in his arms.

Everyone around me panicked. Donghae picked me up and carried me in his arms.

-----

Just a Friend 10

2009-09-05T00:27:00.000-07:00

Chapter 10

Photo Shoot

We first did the photoshoot. The clothes we had on for the photoshoot was also gonna be the ones we’ll be using on the music video. We were wearing winter clothes since it was winter.

The first part of the photoshoot was for each group or solo artist. BoA shot hers first then Zhang Li Yin then DBSK. After that Super Junior did their thing, then SNSD, Shinee and finally us.

It was fun. I kinda even forgot about the whole Jessica- Donghae situation. During our photoshoot, to make our smiles seem natural, the sunbaes goofed around especially Super Junior.

“Soon Ae-sshi! Soon Ae-sshi! Look here!” Donghae called out

I looked at him and he did a funny but cute face. G.A.L laughed but in some way, it didn’t look weird in a still shot. There was even a time when the SJ members accidentally knocked down one of the cameras.

The whole studio became quiet as Leeteuk glared at his members then picked up the camera and inspected it. We heaved a sigh of relief after he announced that besides from a little scratch, the camera was ok.

==
The make-up artists did retouches on us. There were also cameras there from various networks.

“Hi!” I spoke in English as I waved to the camera.

“How is the shoot today?”

“It’s really fun. I really feel blessed that I get to spend time with the SMtown family.” I answered

“What are they like?”

“They’re very nice. It didn’t take long for me to become comfortable with them.” I smiled

“Besides from your members, who are you closest to in SMtown??”

“Uh.. Tiffany unnie and Donghae oppa.”

The cameramen and women started to tease me. Seems like they also know about my little “confession” in SGB.
“Anio~, It’s not like that at all. Donghae oppa and I have anoppa-dongsaeng relationship. Nothing else.” As soon as the words escaped from my mouth, sadness engulfed my heart.

Is it truly just an oppa-dongsaeng relationship and nothing more? Even though I felt sad, I continued to smile in front of the camera but as soon as they left to film others, my smile faded from my face.

“Soon Ae-sshi, are you alright?” The make-up artist asked

I smiled at the make-up artist. A smile that said “everything’s ok” when in reality, it wasn’t.

==
We had a little break for lunch and you wouldn’t believe how long the table we used. Well, it wasn’t just one table. More like a bunch of tables we stuck together.

We were scrambled once again. I was sitting in between Taeyeon and Tiffany. I actually wanted to seat at another place since in front of me was Donghae and Jessica. They didn’t do any sweet things like feeding each other but they talked and laughed a lot.

The others teased them and they just laughed again. I made a face and turned away. I decided to direct my anger on my food, I took my fork and continually stabbed my food, what I didn’t know was that everyone saw me do it. Especially the ones near me.

“Soon Ae, are you ok?” Tiffany asked, though she was leaning a little away from me

“What?” I looked at her then everyone around me

“You were just stabbing your food awhile ago. Are you mad at something?” Taeyeon asked

“O—oh. Really? I was?” I tried to act dumb

They all nodded their head. Think Soon Ae think!

“Uh…ahahahah!” I burst into laughter, hoping that they would laugh along

But they didn’t. Instead, they stared at me. My fake laughter died down. I excused myself and left to the dressing room. How could I let myself act like that?

==
I didn’t go out of the dressing room until the photoshoot started. Good thing that my weirdness earlier seemed to have been forgotten. I went out to see everyone joking around and laughing, they were already in their places.

The cameraman placed me right in the middle of Jessica and Donghae.Greaaattt. I glanced at Jessica and saw her pouting then at Donghae who was giving Jessica a smile. Seriously, what is up with this two?! I raised my hand.
“Yes, Soon Ae?” The cameraman asked

“Could I transfer?” I asked

“Why?”

“Uh…because..”

How am I gonna come up with an excuse without making it look like I’m hiding something?

“Because she promised me that she would be beside me.” Kibum spoke out

Everyone, including me, turned to Kibum with a surprised expression.When I caught his eye, I mouthed the word what. He smiled and casually sauntered towards me, he took me by the wrist and led me to his place, positioning me to stand beside him.

I looked back once and saw Donghae frowning while Jessica was smiling happily.

“Ok.Soon Ae, no more problems?” The cameraman asked

I shook my head.

“Ok, we’ll begin now. Everyone smile!”

“What are you doing?” I whispered through my smile

“We’ll talk later. Right now, just concentrate on the photo shoot and smile.”

==
After the photo shoot, Kibum immediately took my hand and led me away.

“What was that about?” I asked him, as soon as we arrived in a corner away from everyone else

“I thought you needed some help, so I helped you.” Kibum replied nonchalantly

I stayed quiet for a few seconds before a smile appeared on my face “Thank you.”

“No problem.” He hit my arm

“Hey!” I protested

“What?”

“I’m not one of your buddies that you could just hit! I’m an idol and most importantly a girl!”

Ok, so I was making something out of nothing but seriously, I am way offended. I’m a girl and he should be a gentleman like Siwon.

“So what do you want? A hug or a kiss?”

“Neither! Get out of my way.” I left before anything weird or embarrassing could happen.

Who knew that behind his silent and mysterious image, he was this?!

Just a Friend 9

2009-09-05T00:21:00.000-07:00

Chapter 9

Jealousy

It was one of those days again. It was time for the annual SM Town album. The girls and I were gonna remake S.E.S’ I love you! We were all pretty excited about it since we liked the song.

The day came that we had to record. We first did a collaboration with the other SM town artists. Sadly, we didn’t do it together since it would be pretty crowded but hey, we’ll still be together for the music video and the photoshoot.

We finished 2 songs in 2 days.
==
The day for the filming of our music video came. The girls and I woke up earlier than usual since we were excited, suddenly felt like it was gonna be our debut.

We arrived at the filming site. We saw BoA and DBSK. We greeted them politely since it was the first time meeting them, they were so friendly and didn’t act like sunbaes.

“Super Junior talks about you girls a lot.” Jaejoong said

“Really?” My eyes sparked with interest

“Well, you know, we also ask them about you guys. You guys are pretty popular in Japan too.” Yunho sat beside Jaejoong

“Yeah, we sometimes hear fans singing your song.” Junsu smiled

BoA started to sing one of our songs and dancing to it with a goofy dance, we all cracked up. We laughed even more when we realized Junsu had a milk mustache.

He stared at us innocently and asked us what we were laughing about.

“You seem to be having fun.” Shinee’s Jonghyun said

They had just arrived and Jesselyn sneakily fixed herself. The girls and I snickered.

“Hi Taemin oppa!” Jesselyn waved happily

Taemin waved happily back.

“Minho oppa, how are you?” Jesselyn asked

“Fine.” Minho replied

Jesselyn quieted down and it became awkward. Minho effect?haha. Luckily, SNSD came.

“Annyeong-hasaeyo!” Tiffany’s loud voice echoed

We greeted them back.
“Soon Ae!” Tiffany squealed, hugging me at the same time.

“Annyeong-hasaeyo unnie.” I hugged her back

Tiffany then went on and hugged the others, SNSD members did the same then Jessica and I faced each other. We stared at each other, not knowing what to do. The others were chatting happily and didn’t seem to notice the tension between us.

“Uhm…hi.” Jessica faintly smiled

I smiled back “Unnie, how are you?” I bowed

“Fine, you?”

“Fine.” I nodded

No words were exchanged after that but we were saved when a few minutes later, Super Junior came. As soon as they arrived, it became noisier and the atmosphere lightened up.
G.A.L stood back and watched as the SMtowners hugged each other. Since we were still rookies, we really don’t share their strong bond but we still smiled with their reunion.

It didn’t take long for CSJH and Zhang Li Yin to arrive and the SMTown was finally, almost complete. They all really seemed close with each other and talked a lot.

Donghae finally looked up and saw me. He smiled and was about to head towards me when Jessica grabbed him and told him something. I watched with envy and disappointment as they walked away together.

But I wasn’t able to stare at them any longer as CSJH and Zhang Li Yin approached us. Like the others, they were very friendly and warm so it didn’t take long for us to become comfortable with them.

==
“Unnie, you know, I really like “Timeless”.” Regine told Zhang Li Yin

“Really?”

“Yeah! The MV was awesome and when you reached the high note, I was like wow!” Regine said excitedly

ZLY laughed “I’m glad you like it, I like your new song too!”

On the other side, Vian was performing our version of S.E.S’ I love you, the soshi girls were all enjoying it and clapping while singing along.
Jesselyn was learning some dance moves from BoA. Most of the time, she messes up but they were all good and laughing about it. Actually, it seems she is intentionally messing it up.

While I? I was sulking. Where are Jessica and Donghae? Why haven’t they come back yet? And why am I feeling so jealous? Aish.

“Why are you here alone instead of enjoying yourself?”

I looked up and saw Kibum standing behind me.

“Well why are you here?” I asked him back

He smiled and pulled up a chair “May I?”

I nodded my head. I wouldn’t be able to say no to him even when I wanted to, since he’s a sunbae and all.

“I’ll answer your question if you answer mine.” Kibum smiled

I sighed but I smiled back “I just don’t feel like it right now.”

“Well, the other members seem to be having fun, aren’t you jealous?”

“Why would I be when I’m talking to Super Junior’s Kim Kibum?” I replied

Kibum smiled and ruffled my hair.

“Oppa, you’re ruining my hair.” I leaned back

Kibum chuckled. “You’re scared your hair will be ruined? Come here, I’ll ruffle it more!”

“No!” I tried to avoid his hands

Kibum caught my wrists and was about to mess up my hair when a voice interrupted us.

“Ya! Where’d you two go? If you keep on going around secretly, it wouldn’t take long for you to have another scandal!” Yoochun joked

We all turned to see Jessica and Donghae walking towards us. They merely laughed at Yoochun’s joke then headed on to their respective groups. A sigh escaped my lips as I looked longingly at Donghae.

Just a Friend 8

2009-09-05T00:14:00.000-07:00

Chapter 8

First Snow

After those text messages, Donghae and I started to contact each other more frequently. Even when we are busy, we always make sure to greet each other in the morning and say goodnight at night. Though we really didn’t get to see each other, we passed by each other but we couldn’t talk because of our schedules.

One day the members and I had some free time so we decided to go online and search on stuff about us. You know, so we could know what netizens think of us. We were watching fanvids of our performances when we saw a video labeled “G.A.L’s confessions.” It was the one on Star Golden Bell.

Regine and I felt embarrassed while watching but still laughed while the othere members were really laughing happily.After watching the videos, we scrolled down and were shocked to see the comments.

COMMENTS:

“Stupid G.A.L! They’re so ugly and they are sl**ts! Trying to steal my Super Junior oppas.”

“ They just had plastic surgery! They are such fakes!”

“Vian is uglier than a tarsier!”

“PFT! Jesselyn?! Pretty?! A monkey is prettier than her!”

“Regine has a really bad voice, how come her nickname is singing princess?!”

“Soon Ae is a sl*tty b!tch! If she thinks she has a chance with Donghae oppa then forget it!”

And so on…there were some positive comments but only a few. Vian started to tear up after the comments.

“Why are they writing this? We didn’t do anything to them.” Regine frowned

“I’m prettier than a monkey! She must be the ugly one!” Jesselyn glared at the screen

“Who do they think they are?! It’s not our fault that we’re friends with their idols!” I slammed the keyboard

==
A few days later and we were going to have a photoshoot with Super Junior. It was awkward, very awkward because we were trying to avoid as much interaction as them and besides there were cameras there who were filming us.

After the photoshoot ended and the filming has stopped, Super Junior approached us.

“Let’s go buy dinner and head on to the SM building together.” Leeteuk smiled at us

The others nodded and agreed.

The girls and I looked at each other. One thing on our minds: anti-fans. We politely refused and left in a hurry.

==
At the SM building, we tried to forget our problems through practicing hard. The manager and instructor noticed our aggressiveness and jokingly said that they wished we were always like this.

But as soon as the instructor gave us a break, the pain and frustration came rushing back to us. We didn’t talk to each other and just sulked, each of us deep on our own thoughts.

I sighed and stood up to go buy some water. As I took out the water from the vending machine, I turned to look at the door. In that room, I got to spend some time with Donghae. I sighed once more.

I started to tear up then I felt a hand on my shoulder. I quickly wiped away my tears and turned around.

“Oppa…?” My voice broke

Donghae didn’t say anything and just pulled me into a hug. That did it, I started to cry.

==
“ So that’s why you guys were acting so weird earlier.”

Donghae and I were back at the room and I just told him the reason why I cried since he kept on pestering me about it.

“Soon Ae-sshi, I’m sorry.”

I looked at him and started to feel sorry myself. I shouldn’t have told him what happened.

“You don’t need to say sorry oppa, It’s not like you were the one who posted those comments.”

“But I—I mean we are the reason why you girls are getting so much hate.” Donghae said

I sniffed as tried to hold my tears back “Don’t worry oppa, we’re going to be fine.” I forced a smile

“Just remember, I’m here whenever you need me.” Donghae laid his hand on mine

Instead of fangirling, I found myself calm. Probably because of the ‘crisis’ but I did feel grateful and touched.

I smiled at him again, a sincere one this time “Thank you.” I mouthed since no voice would come out

Donghae nodded his head and pulled me in for another hug. After that day, Donghae and I became much closer. We talked more and as each day passed, I found myself falling for him more and more.

==
“Do you think it’s gonna snow?” I asked Donghae

We were at one of the practice rooms and I was staring outside the window. Donghae stopped dancing and headed towards me.

“I don’t know, why’d you ask?” He also stared outside the window

“I like snows.” I smiled “Never experienced it when I was younger, only when I came to Korea.”

==
G.A.L and I just came back home after a tiring schedule, Vian dropped dead on the couch as soon as we entered. Normally, I would drag her towards our room but I felt so tired and had zero energy so I just left her there and threw a stuffed toy at her.

I didn’t even bother to take off my make-up or change my clothes, I went directly to bed and fell asleep.

*Ring* *Ring*

I moved in my bed as I heard some soft, ringing sounds.

*Ring* *Ring*

I stretched my hand towards my bag and took out my cellphone.

“Mm.” I answered

“Soon Ae-sshi. It’s Donghae, did I wake you up?”

Donghae?! Even though I love this guy so much, did he really have to call me so early in the morning?!

“No oppa, you didn’t.” I answered with sarcasm

“Sorry.” Donghae said and an image of him pouting came to mind.

I sighed “What do you want?”

“Look outside the window.” He urged excitedly

“Why?” I asked with irritation

“Just go and look!”

“Aish.ok, ok!”

I stood up from my bed and pulled off the blinds. I stared blankly at the window. Little, white things were falling. What’s that? Dandruff? Why is dandruff falling from the sky?

I was about to ask the very same question to Donghae when I realized it wasn’t dandruff but snow! Glorious snow! I hurriedly opened the window to the fullest extent and stuck my head out.

“Oppa, it’s snowing!” I told him

I heard him chuckle “Yeah, I know.”

“But you know, it’s not that cold.” I frowned

I looked around and noticed something strange, it wasn’t snowing on the other parts of the street. Eh?!

“Oppa, the snow is really strange today.”

I heard him chuckle once more “Mmmm…really?”

Something about his tone made me suspicious.

“Soon Ae!”

Eh? That’s Donghae oppa. I looked up and saw Donghae at the rooftop, waving happily at me. Now I know the reason for the weird snow. I smiled at him and put my finger to my lips to shush him, I don’t think the neighbors would appreciate noise early in the morning.

He nodded his head and pretended to zip his lips. I laughed.

Just a Friend 7

2009-09-05T00:08:00.000-07:00

Chapter 7

Embarassed

I heard giggles and I opened my eyes, I must have fallen asleep on the car.

“What?” I asked the other members

Then they started to imitate me..

“Donghae oppa, Donghae oppa!” Jesselyn hugged her cellphone

“Saranghamnida!” Regine had that dreamy look on her face

“Muuwaaah!” Vian did a kiss

I blushed and tried to deny that I was doing that but it turns out, they took a video of me. I got even more embarrassed and left the car, without notice. We came in at Sukira studio and I was dumbfounded when I saw Donghae there.

The 3 Super Junior members happily greeted and welcomed us. Without even looking at them, I just said my greetings and went to find a seat. I was about to sit at the farthest seat from Donghae when my members rushed in and sat one by one, to the point that the only chair left was Donghae.

“Aish.” I muttered and glared at them as they made faces at me

“Soon Ae-ah.” Donghae called my attention

I looked up. He was already seated and was patting the seat beside him while nodding his head once, beckoning for me to sit beside him. I nodded back and gave the girls one last glare before sitting down. I heard them snicker and even saw them low-five each other under the table.

Aish. This is so embarrassing. Normally, I would be happy to seat beside him but due to what happened earlier at the car, I suddenly felt like he could read minds.

“Soon Ae-shhi,Why do you seem so tense?” Donghae asked me

“Me? Tense? No, I’m not tense! Why would I be tense?.” I said

Donghae looked confused “Arasso~”

I looked away and heard giggles from the girls. I looked at them and they teased me by holding up their cellphones.

==
The broadcast started.

“We have the very pretty and very talented, G.A.L!” Leeteuk said as we clapped

“Since they are still new, a lot of people are still unfamiliar with them. Could you girls introduce yourselves?” Eunhyuk asked

“Annyeong-hasaeyo G.A.L’s leader Vian imnida.”

“Annyeong-hasaeyo Jesselyn imnida, nice to meet you.”

“Annyeong-hasaeyo Regine imnida, it’s great to be here.”

“Annyeong-hasaeyo maknae Soon Ae imnida.” I said in a small voice, thankfully there was a mic in front of me.

I swear I could feel them all stare at me for a second. The interviews started and so on but I really didn’t enjoy myself because I still felt embarrassed about the incident earlier. Everyone around me were laughing and talking so I was kinda jealous.

During one of the songs, Donghae elbowed me gently. At first, I ignored it. It’s so hard to look at him right now. He continued to elbow me and his speed became faster and faster, even though it didn’t hurt it annoyed me so I finally gave in and looked at him. ( well I sorta glared)

“You haven’t talked since your introduction. What’s going on?”

“Nothing.” I said with a hint of irritation in my voice

“Ya, tell me the truth. Are you mad at me? Huh? Huh?” Donghae poked my cheek twice

“Anio oppa.” I sighed

“A while ago, I received a happy text message from you. Now you’re being cold, what’s going on? Do you have your period right now?”

“Eh?! What did you say?”

“Did I say something wrong?” He asked

“Nothing oppa. It’s just that..your last question. I’m not so used hearing it from a guy.” I could feel my cheeks heating up so I turned away

The others who were eavesdropping on us laughed.

“Donghae, you usually don’t ask girls questions like that.” Leeteuk advised Donghae

“O.” Donghae nodded his head “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to cause trouble.” He apologized

“No problem oppa.” I answered

Thankfully, before the discussion could go any longer the music stopped and we started to broadcast again. I was aware of Donghae’s stares from time to time so I participated as much as I can to ignore him.

After the broadcasting ended, Donghae tried to talk to me again but right after saying my goodbyes, I ran out of the building and into the van.

Aish. This is all because of that stupid sleeptalking and the stupid video. When can I face oppa again if I keep on being embarrassed?!

==
A few minutes later and the girls entered the car

“Why did you run out like that?” Vian asked

“You shouldn’t have left. Donghae oppa wanted to talk to you.” Regine gave me a disapproving look

“I think he really likes you, Soon Ae.” Jesselyn nodded her head

“Yeah~” Vian and Regine agreed

I sighed “If he did like me, there’s a high probability that he doesn’t anymore, after the way I’ve acted.”

==
Once we arrived at home, my conscious got to me and I started to get worried on what will oppa think about me. I really hate myself sometimes. I looked over at Vian who was sleeping peacefully, how could she sleep when I’m in a dilemma?!

I gathered some courage and picked up my phone.

“Oppa, I’m sorry with the way I acted earlier.
I hope you’re not upset with me.”

Only a few seconds after and my phone vibrated.

“It’s alright. No problem. ^_^
Are you feeling fine? Why did you just suddenly disappear?”

“I wasn’t feeling too well oppa so I decided to leave.”

Well, it wasn’t a total lie. I wasn’t exactly feeling bright and cheerful at that time.

“Ah arasso~. It’s late. You should go and rest.
Especially since you’re not feeling too well.
Goodnight pretty Soon Ae and get well soon!!^^”

“Arasso~
Sleep well too oppa~”

Just a Friend 6

2009-09-05T00:02:00.000-07:00

Chapter 6

Number

“Soon Ae, Soon Ae, wake up!” A frantic voice said, shaking me at the same time

“5 more minutes.” I groaned and rolled over

“We don’t have 5 more minutes! It’s already 6:20!”

“What?!” I shot up

Looks like everyone woke up late because they were all running around. Some were packing their stuff, some were fixing themselves, and some (mostly the leaders) were shouting for the other members to hurry up.

I quickly stood up, grabbed my bag and ran to the nearest bathroom with a shower. I decided not to wash my hair, I just rinsed it with water to get rid of the ‘chemicals’. After I had showered and dressed, the manager came and we had to leave to do our hair and make-up.

We weren’t able to say goodbye to the other SMtowners because they were in a hurry too and most of them had left. We had no choice but to do the hair and make-up at the car because we were going to have a performance and we couldn’t afford being late, especially being rookies and all.

But we ended up being late anyway and not just seconds either but a whole 10 minutes! Now if this gets leaked out, the stupid anti-fans might go and create some stupid rumors.

====
We arrived at the site of the filming, the staff did some retouches then we were rushed to the set.

“Annyeong-hasaeyo…G.A.L imnida!”

===

In a couple of hours, the filming was done. The first thing that we did was say sorry to the staff. We explained what happened and thankfully, they were all very gracious about it.

On our way out, we passed by Super Junior. We all greeted each other though we couldn’t talk because we had another schedule, I didn’t see Donghae either but I did notice something and that was Kibum’s with them. He gave me a small nod, I smiled faintly.

====
Off to our next schedule. The filming site this time was a little far, so we could rest a little in the car. Vian chose to doze off, Jesselyn was singing a random song while Regine looked outside her window. Every now and then calling our attention to look at something while I was fidgeting with my bag, checking if I had left anything at the SM building.

I was putting my bag away when I noticed something, a piece of paper crumpled inside the outer pocket of my bag. I took it out and shrieked in delight. Various expressions came from my members.

“What’s wrong?” The manager looked at me through the mirror

Jesselyn stopped singing and stared at me.

“What happened?” Regine frowned at me

“Eh? Are we here?” A sleepy Vian asked from the backseat

“Sorry, sorry. It’s nothing.” I crumpled the piece of paper in my hand

“Hey, what do you have there?” Jesselyn asked

I smiled cheekily “It’s a secret.” I answered, even though I really wanted to tell them.

Jesselyn looked at me then at my hand. Her face instantly lit up. I think I know what she’s up to.

“No!!” I shrieked and laughed as Jesselyn and Regine was trying to get the piece of paper from me.

Then they used the technique that targets my weakness, they started to tickle me. I laughed even harder and Regine managed to take the piece of paper from me. As she and Jesselyn read it, I watched with amusement as their eyes turned huge then they shrieked in delight.

“What happened now?” The manager turned to us but he was ignored.

“Omo! ya! You have his number!” Regine whispered excitedly, in case our manager hears.

I nodded excitedly as we squealed together.

“Wha’ happened?” Vian popped out

“Go back to sleep.” I said and pushed her back

Regine, Jesselyn and I started to squeal again.

“Send a message to him!” Regine urged

“Isn’t that a little straightforward?” I asked them

“Duh! He gave you his number, that must mean he’s interested in you.” Jesselyn said “Go on, text him.”

“But what am I supposed to tell him? He must be busy right now.” I whined

“Girls, we’re here.” The manager interrupted our little discussion

I sighed and put the note on my pocket for safe-keeping.

“Vian, wake up.Hurry!There’s an earthquake!”

Regine, Jesselyn and I started to jump up and down and shake the car.

“Huh?! Earthquake?! NOO!!!” Vian jumped out of the car and ran towards the building

The fans who were waiting outside looked at her as if she was crazy.

The other members and I chuckled and hi-fived, even the manager found it funny and laughed a little. We alighted the car and waved to the fans, all the time my hand in my pocket to make sure I won’t lose it.

====
When we had a little break from the filming, Vian finally found out about the note.

“Sorry that I left without even saying goodbye but here’s my number. Call me sometime or leave me a message, arasso?-Donghae” Vian read it out loud as I smiled smugly

“Omo! ya!” Vian squealed and shook me

I laughed but we couldn’t fangirl any longer because we started to film again.

==
We earned another break as we drove to our next schedule. While in the car, we decided to text Donghae.

“여보세요 형제는, 이것 ____이다.
나는 지금 막 당신이 이것이 나의 수이고 당신이 유감스러운 말할 필요가 없는는다는 것을 알게 하고 싶었다.
그런데, 다른 일원은 안녕 말한다. ”

TRANSLATION:

Hello oppa, this is Soon Ae.
I just wanted to let you know that this is my number and you don’t need to say sorry.
By the way, the other members says hi.

====

Just a Friend 5

2009-09-04T23:56:00.000-07:00

Chapter 5

Beside Him

“Omo!Soon Ae you’re here!”

“Donghae ah!”

Donghae and I opened our eyes to the noise that surrounded us. We were surprised to see the SMtown family in front of us (besides from DBSK who were at Japan and BoA who was at the US). It took awhile for me to realize that my head was on Donghae’s shoulder, when I did I withdrew it immediately and because his head was leaning on my head, it caused him some pain.

“Omo! Mianhaeyo oppa” I apologized, bowing down over and over

“It’s alright. It’s alright. Don’t worry.” He smiled and patted my head

Aaahhh! Skinship!

“Ya, are you two dating?” Shindong joked

We all stared at him.

“What? Wasn’t I funny?” Shindong looked around us

“Aish. If I was the one who said that then it must have been funny!” Heechul interjected

We all turned to him and laughed.

“What time is it?” I asked, after the laughter had settled down

“4 am. You’ve been stuck here for almost an hour and a half.” Vian’s eyes flickered to Siwon while she spoke.

I tried my best not to smile and ended up biting my lip “So, I guess this means back to practice?”

Donghae stood up then helped me up.

“Actually, no. Our schedule starts at 7 remember? And if we want to get some sleep, we have to go home now.”

“Actually, you’re wrong Jesselyn.”

We all turned to the manager.

“The managers and I have decided that we should all just sleep here. You won’t mind, won’t you? And LSM has already approved.” Our manager informed.

We all stared at the manager. You mean like our trainee days? Well that’s just….wonderful! We all gathered around the manager and got into a group hug. Most of the girls squealed and smiled widely while the guys did hi-fives and chuckled.

“We’ll go ahead, grab your things and just head on to the practice room.” Jesselyn said but before leaving, she glanced at Taemin who caught her and smiled at her.

Once again, I tried my best not to smile. I greeted each and everyone there, since this was the first time meeting them, aside from Super Junior and I also apologized for the inconvenience I—(well, me and Donghae) caused.

“It’s alright. We’re just happy you’re alright.” Taeyeon patted my head

The rest also said things along the same lines with that of Taeyeon’s.

“Let’s go. We all better grab our things then head to the biggest practice room.” Kangin said

As I walked out, I was beside Shinee.

“I’m sort of glad you guys got lost because we had some break during practice.” Key whispered and I laughed.

Onew and Jonghyun who had overheard slapped him at the back of his head. They started to argue and I laughed again. I decided to stole a glance at Donghae and just in time, I saw him and Jessica glancing at each other and smiling. Even thought it was just for a split second, I can’t help but feel jealous.

I sighed.

“Soon Ae, are you alright?” Sunny put her arm around me

“Ne unnie, I’m fine.” I smiled

“You speak English right?” Tiffany popped out of nowhere and hooked her arm with mine

“Yes. I can speak English.” I replied in English

“I knew it! I bet we’ll talk a lot to each other.” Tiffany also replied in English

I went to the practice room and saw my members. They had already fixed my things.

“Here.” Regine handed me a cookie

I opened my mouth and she popped it in.

“Gamsahamnida!~” I said as bits of cookie crumbs came out from my mouth

“Ok.Ew.” Jesselyn scrunched her nose in disgust “Anyway, tell us what happened!” She had that familiar glint in her eyes

I swallowed my cookie “What happened about what?”

“Don’t play dumb! You and Donghae were stuck in that room for more than an hour! Something has bound to happen.” Vian smiled mischievously at me

I pouted “Well honestly, we just talked and then we fell asleep I guess.”

“Awww…” The girls sighed in discontentment

I laughed and they soon followed. We then headed on to the biggest practice room, where we will be sleeping with other SMtowners.

When we arrived, everyone else was already there. We were the last one. We set-up the sleeping bags randomly and I ended up sleeping next to Donghae! Could you say fate?!

“Fate.” Everyone responded

Eh? Did I just say that out loud?! Sh!t! I stood up from my spot and bowed down

“I’m sorry unnies and oppas.”

“It’s alright~” They replied

Their tone made me cringe cause it was like ‘ok, fine. Just go to sleep, we’re all tired. So lie down and don’t talk anymore’ I nodded my head and laid back down. To my left was Donghae while to my right was the wall.

I turned to my left and saw Donghae sleeping peacefully. I smiled, should I totally face him? Hmm… There’s nothing wrong with it right? It’s not like I made this happen on purpose. I shifted in my place till I was fully facing Donghae. I smiled one more time before closing my eyes and falling into deep slumber.

After only minutes of falling asleep, I woke up due to the sounds coming from outside. It was raining hard accompanied with thunders and lightning. I shivered, it was so cold even when the windows were shut and besides from the sleeping bag, I didn’t have anything to cover me up. I laid on my back and rubbed my arms but to no avail, it was still cold.

“Are you alright?” I stopped and looked at Donghae oppa who was looking at me with big, brown eyes

“I’m fine oppa.” I lied “Did I wake you up? I’m sorry. Just go back to sleep.”

“Come closer.” He told me

“Wh-What?” My eyes widened

“Come closer so that I could hug you and give you some warmth.” He continued

I blushed. Thankfully, it was dark and he couldn’t really see me.

“It’s fine oppa, really…I---“ Before I could protest any longer, Donghae put his arm around me and pulled me closer to him.

“Go to sleep.” He whispered into my ear

I subtly nodded and bundled up to him in order to be more comfortable, in a matter of seconds I fell asleep once more.

Just a Friend 4

2009-09-04T23:45:00.000-07:00

Chapter 4
In The Dark
As our activities end for the day, we were back at SM ENT. where he had another practice.We finally had our break time. Jesselyn and Vian leaned back while closing their eyes while Regine was listening to her ipod. (Turns out it was just in her bag all this time)
“I’m thirsty.I’m gonna go get something to drink, you guys want anything?” I stood up from my spot
“Food.” Jesselyn said
“Arasso~” Usually, I would ask at least one of them to come with me, especially since it’s early in the morning and I’m kinda scared. It doesn’t help that they say there are so many ghosts here but since the girls looked so tired, I went by myself.
I took a deep breath and walked out as fast as I can towards the vending machine. When I finally reached it, I put in some coins and I got a bottle of water for myself and a bag of chips for Jesselyn. I was just taking out the bag of chips when I heard some noise from the door near me.
I walked cautiously towards the door “Hello? Anyone there?”
I heard a groan from inside and even though I was scared to death, curiosity got the best of me. I took another deep breath and stepped into the room. I couldn’t see anything because it was dark. I took a sigh of relief, looks like nobody’s here. I was about to turn around and leave when the door shut by itself.
I gasped and dropped the things I was carrying and hurried towards the door. “Open up! Open up! Sh!t!” I wrestled with the doorknob
Oh my GOD! Did the doorknob just come off?! I tried to put the doorknob back to its original position when I heard something behind me. I stopped moving and stayed as still as I can.
Maybe if I don’t move the ghost won’t see me. Since it’s dark and all. I heard the steps coming closer and closer. Nooo! Get away from me! I promise I will be good from now on, just please spare my life.
The ghost finally stopped walking, just right behind me. I could feel his/her breath and the hair on my neck raised. I started to get teary-eyed. This is so scary. He/she placed his hand on my shoulder and as an instinct, I turned around and started to shout my lungs off.
The ghost did the same. After a few seconds, I realized, ghosts don’t scream. Unless they’re like Casper or something. Oh my GOD! Then this could be a killer or something!
“Wh—Who are you?” My voice trembled
“Why should I tell you?” A male voice replied and somehow it seemed familiar but I just couldn’t point out who.
“Please don’t hurt me!”
I heard some flickering. What is he doing? Is he like, preparing his weapon of choice to claim my life? I closed my eyes and clasped my hand together as I prayed, hoping that my life would spared.
1...2…3..
“Soon Ae?”
Eh? The killer knows my name? Omo! Must be a stalker!
“Please don’t hurt me.” I repeated
The guy chuckled “Babo~, open your eyes and look at me.”
I slowly opened my eyes and almost fainted as I saw who had been my ghost slash killer slash stalker…It was none other than Donghae himself. Oh and that flickering light was his lighter.
I was sitting and leaning back watching Donghae lighting a candle. How can someone do something as simple as lighting a candle and be so cute at the same time? Donghae looked up and caught me staring.
He smiled “Why are you looking at me like that?”
“Uhmm…nothing. I was just thinking about something.” I said and looked away
Donghae smiled some more then he sat beside me. His smile is so mesmerizing.
“How did you get in here?” Donghae smiled
“What?” I asked in a daze
Donghae’s chuckle put me back into mind. Ugh. SoonAe! Stop making a fool of yourself.
“I heard some noise so I checked it out.Wait a minute, what were you doing here?” I asked
“Just practicing.”
Now that he’s near me, I can see that he was drenching of sweat.
“Omo oppa, you should wipe your sweat before it dries up.”
“Unfortunately, I forgot my towel back at the other practice room.” Donghae gave me an embarrassed smile “I really hate how I’m so forgetful.”
“You could have mine.” I handed him my face towel, which so happens, had my initials engraved in it.
“Are you sure? What are you gonna use then?”
“Well, I’m not the one drenched in sweat here.Don’t worry, it’s clean.” I smiled at him
He smiled back and took the towel. He started to wipe his sweat and I might seem like a total perv after this but the sight of him, wiping his sweat, HOT!
(Ok, I don’t actually think like this.haha. but most fangirls do…so yeah)
“You’re doing it again.” Donghae pointed out
“Doing what?”
“Staring.” He gave me a smile of amusement
“Well, you couldn’t blame me. There’s nothing else to look at.” I shuffled in my place uncomfortably and I wasn’t lying either. Besides Donghae, I could only stare at the candle, and who wants to stare at a candle when Donghae’s around?
An awkward silence followed.
“I wonder when people will realize we’re gone and start to find us?” He broke the silence
I hope never! “Quickly, I hope.”
“What’s that supposed to mean?” Donghae frowned “Don’t you like being with me?”
“A-Anio oppa, I was just saying that…uhm…well, uh…” I blew out my cheeks and looked away. Why can’t I come up with good excuse?
“I understand. I mean, not everyone can like me.”
Oppa…what are you talking about? Haven’t I said earlier that you were my favorite in SJ? Did you think I was just lying?
“To be honest oppa, I’m glad to be here with you.” I muttered
“Really?” Donghae instantly brightened up
I slowly nodded my head and shot him a small smile.
“You seem uncomfortable. Are you alright?” He asked with a concerned tone
“I’m alright. Wait, oppa, didn’t we just scream our heads off earlier?”
“Yeah, so?”
“Then they should’ve heard us, right?”
“Unfortunately no, this practice room is really far from the other practice rooms. It’s rarely used actually. So there’s a very slim chance that they would hear us even how much we shout, unless they get something from the vending machine.” He explained
“Oh, we could call them but I forgot my phone.” I slumped back
“I left mine too.” He did the same

Just a Friend 3

2009-09-04T23:20:00.000-07:00

Chapter 3

Gazing Into His Eyes

“Ah…That was tiring.” I slumped in the car after recording

“Very.” Jesselyn closed her eyes

“It was fun though.” Vian said

“Anyone seen my Ipod?” Regine asked

“We don’t care about your stupid ipod.” I groaned, I was just so tired.

“Yeah~” The other two agreed

“Aish! Really! It’s gone!” Regine started to panic

“Where did you put it last time?” Jesselyn asked

“I don’t know. I had it while we were going to our schedule.”

“Are you sure? I don’t remember seeing you with it.” Vian raised her brows

“Maybe you just left it at home.” I suggested

“Maybe…” Regine frowned

“Don’t worry about it now. We still have a performance later so just think about that.” I told her

We were off to film another show…

“Right now, G.A.L is here with us. Ah~ very pretty.” The MC said “Could you girls introduce yourselves one by one?”

“Annyeong-hasaeyo, G.A.L’s tarsier leader Vian imnida.”

“Annyeong-hasaeyo, G.A.L’s happy girl Jesselyn imnida”

“Annyeong-hasaeyo, G.A.L’s singing princess Regine imnida.”

“Annyeong-hasaeyo, G.A.L’s maknae Soon Ae imnida.”

“Vian-sshi, you have a peculiar nickname. Tarsier Leader? Are you implying that you lead the tarsiers?”

“Anio~, when I was little, I had big eyes so most of my friends called me a tarsier and the nickname has stuck on me until now.” Vian explained while smiling in embarassment

“Your eyes are still kinda big.” One of the other guests said

“But it has shrunk a little. Her eyes get smaller as she grows up.” I cut in

“So does that mean her eyes will shrink until it becomes like Park Myung Soo’s?” The MC joked while the camera focused on in Park Myung Soo

We all laughed.

“Vian-sshi, say hello to Park Myung Soo.”

“Annyeong-hasaeyo.” Vian bowed down to PMS

“Who are you?” PMS asked and everyone burst into laughter

“Why are you digging your own grave?! She’s G.A.L!” The MC said

PMS nodded his head once at Vian and immediately turned away. I love this guy, he’s so funny.

After the show, we were off to SBS, for our rehearsal then our actual performance,. After that, another practice that lasted until 1am. Could you say tiring? By the time we arrived home, we almost immediately dropped dead on our beds.

Next morning…

“Soon Ae, wake up.” I heard a sleepy voice

I groaned and turned away.

“Soon Ae, we have a schedule you know.” I realized that that sleepy voice belonged to Vian

I opened my eyes and sat up “What time is it?”

“4 am. Hurry up, our schedule starts on 6 and we still have to do our hair and make-up.”

I got out of bed and went to the dining room where the other girls were all eating. We were so sleepy that we didn’t even talk to each other.

The whole day was full of schedules but one filming really stayed in my mind. We had filmed Star King with guess who? Super Junior!

“We have two of the most popular idol groups today, Super Junior and G.A.L! Everyone, let’s clap our hands at them.” Kang Ho Dong said

The introduction started as usual bla bla bla… Now off to the interesting part.

“Are Super Junior and G.A.L close?” Kang Ho Dong asked

“To be honest, even though we’re from the same company, we haven’t been really able to talk that much but if we had a chance we would like to be close to them.” Leeteuk said

“Leeteuk-sshi is a actually a big fan of G.A.L” Kangin revealed

“What are you talking about?!” Leeteuk said but he was blushing

“I heard Regine liked Leeteuk-sshi.” KHD teased and Regine blushed

“Leeteuk-sshi, what do you think of Regine?”

“She’s very pretty and has a very beautiful voice.” Leeteuk said

“That’s his way of saying that he’s a fan of hers.” Kangin cut in once more

“YA!” Leeteuk slapped Kangin’s arm

It didn’t take long for the conversation to go to my “confession.”

“Soon Ae, you confessed to Donghae on a variety show before..”

“Anio!” I burst out before he could continue and realizing what I did, I immediately apologized and blushed as everyone around me laughed.

“Soon Ae-sshi, why is Donghae your favorite in Super Junior?” KHD question

“I like everything about him.” I answered shyly

“O!” Everyone said

Then KHD had us do a love letter thing, his small card was separated between us.

“Hana..Dul..Set.” KHD took away the card and I found myself gazing into Donghae’s eyes.

His gaze was so intense and I felt myself fan-girling, I tried my best not to smile or giggle. The gaze between us, even though it wasn’t that long, was something that would be forever imprinted in my mind.

Just a Friend 2

2009-09-04T23:17:00.000-07:00

Chapter 2

G.A.L meets Super Junior

The next day…

The girls and I, together with our managers, were discussing what our group name should be.

“There should be the word ‘girls’ in it for obvious reasons.” Jesselyn said

“Girls Generation, the 2nd?” Vian suggested

We knew she was sleepy and all but why the stupidity so early in the morning.

“And she’s supposed to be our leader..” I muttered, shaking my head

“I heard that! And I was just joking.” Vian glared at me, I rolled my eyes at her.

As the girls and the managers continued to discuss the group name, my mind started to drift somewhere else.

Once I debut, would I get to meet SNSD and Super Junior? Definitely yes since we were in the same entertainment but I wonder if we would be close.

Finally, our group name was chosen and it was G.A.L which stands for Girls and Love. Kinda cheesy, I know but it’s ok once you get used to it.

The day of our debut finally came. We were going to perform at M.Net, it was nerve-wracking as we waited backstage for the MC’s to say our name.

“Now, the debut of the most-awaited girl group of the season! G.A.L!”

We entered the stage and performed. Even though, our lips twitched because of the nervousness, we still tried our best to smile. While performing, mixed emotions were felt. We were happy to be debuting after so many years, we were sad because we knew our lives were never gonna be the same and we were just scared of what the people might think of us.

A few days after our first performance, we were on our first variety show which was Star Golden Bell. I sat in the front, Regine at my back, then Vian and Jesselyn.

We were introduced and questions were asked about us.

“Ah~ You’re all so pretty and have different charms but to be honest between you, who do you think is the prettiest?” MC Kim Jaedong asked

“I’m known for being humble but I think I’m the prettiest.” Jesselyn said

“Are you kidding me?” I looked at her and the studio exploded into laughter.

“Now, there is something I’m very curious of, and I’m sure your fans are too. What is G.A.L’s ideal type?”

“For me, I want someone whose sweet, understanding and knows how to dance.” Vian said

“I want someone with a pretty heart, honest, a gentleman, talented and uhmm..not a pervert.” Regine muttered the last word

Only Vian and I were able to hear it and laughed at loud.

“Me. I’m not that picky. Physically, I want someone who has the manly image with some muscles. In personality, I want someone who’ll take care of me and be protective of me ” I said

“Yeah, you’re really not picky.” Jesselyn said in a sarcastic tone

Later….the topic turned to crushes.

“Does G.A.L have crushes?”

“Of course.” We chorused

“Vian likes Arron from Fahrenheit.” I said

“But that’s Taiwanese, how about Korean?” The MC asked

“No…not really..~” Vian answered

“Then why did you debut in Korea?! Go to Taiwan!” A guest said jokingly to Vian

Vian bowed her head down in laughter and embarrassment.

“Regine really likes Super Junior sunbaenims.” I said

“You like them too.” Regine said

“Yeah…I like them too. Regine has a crush on about four of them.” I revealed

“Well we have some of the members of Super Junior here today. Leeteuk-sshi, Donghae-sshi, Yesung-sshi and Hankyung-sshi, is Regine’s crush one of them?” The MC asked

I turned to Super Junior…

“3 out of 4 here is Regine’s crush.” I said

“Ya!” Regine slapped me from the back “She has a crush on the person beside her!”

“Who? Donghae-shhi?” The MC asked

“Yup!” Regine nodded and I shot her a glare

The audience laughed.

“I do admit that Donghae sunbaenim is my favorite.” I admitted

“I’m pretty sure after this that there’s gonna be a scandal between these bands. Regine is caught in a Love Pentagon while ____ and Donghae are dating.I’m sure both groups’ anti-fans would be doubled.”

The studio burst in laughter once again.

Just a Friend 1

2009-09-04T23:14:00.000-07:00

Chapter 1

Meet The Girls

When I first saw Super Junior, I was entranced by them. I was in awe of their dancing skills and voices. I first saw them in the music video, Don’t Don then I watched SJ full house and finally it was safe to say, that I became a fan of them.

It was unlucky that I became a late fan because at that time they had grouped into sub-groups so I started to pay attention to their so-called ‘counter part’ So Nyuh Shi Dae and my fandom of K-pop officially started.

I was so interested in K-pop that I wanted to debut there and meet my idols…

“Now let us watch the debut stage of the next BoA, Soon Ae!” The MC announced

I took a deep breath. This was it, my time to shine.

“YA! Wake up!” Regine threw a pillow at me

“What the hell?” I glared at her

“Ya! Is that way to speak to an unnie?!”

“Our age gap is only about 3 months!” I snapped back

“I’m still older than you.” Regine pointed out

“Aish! Why did you wake me up anyway?!” I retorted as I threw the pillow back at her

“I’m hungry.”

“So? Cook something!”

“But I still want to sleep!” Regine whined

“Then have something delivered!”

“Oh..right.” Regine skipped out of the room

I tried going back to sleep to have that wonderful dream again but after tossing and turning, I finally gave up and walked out of the room to see Regine shuffling through the directory.

“What are you finding?” I asked as I plopped unto the sofa

“Pizza Hut.”

“You’re gonna have pizza as breakfast?” I stared at her

“Yes, why?”

“I love pizza! Let’s order pepperoni!” I sat beside her and stole the directory

After awhile, I gave it back to her.

“Why are you giving it back to me?” Regine asked

“I can’t understand a thing. I’ll go wake up Vian.” I stood up and left Regine to understand the Korean directory book

It wasn’t that hard to wake her up. I merely threw some pillows at her, then sat on her and pulled her off her bed. Yup, piece of cake.

“Regine, have you already called?” I asked Regine

“Yup! Now we’ll just have to wait.” Regine said matter-of-factly

“I’m going back to sleep.” Vian was about to go back to her room but found it locked.

She went back to us and laid on the couch. “Why are you here?!” Regine and I glared at her

“The door is locked.” Vian yawned

“How can the door be locked?! There was no one else there!” I pushed her off the couch

“Why are you so noisy early in the morning?” Jesselyn suddenly popped out, scaring the hell out of us.

After the ‘peaceful’ morning, us 4 headed to SM ENT. There we were greeted with surprising news.

“Congratulations girls. You’re gonna debut finally.”

Just a Friend

2009-09-04T23:09:00.000-07:00

prologue :

“soonae -sshi.” He said as he put his hand on mine

I looked at him

“You would never leave me right?” His voice seemed broken and his eyes were teary-eyed

“As long as you want me to stay by your side, I would never leave you.” I told him

He smiled at me “You’re a good friend.” He said as he squeezed my hand

I forced myself to smile at him.